Carats and Coconuts by D. D. Scott Read Free Book Online

to
try.”
    “ Nothing like killin’ him
off with kindness,” Kat chimed-in.
    “ You do know you don’t need
to kill the guy to use this gadget, right?” I asked, almost afraid
of the answer they’d give me.
    “ Duh,” Grams said. “Besides,
none of y’all have croaked yet from what comes outta my
kitchen.”
    “ We may not have croaked,
but we’ve all had some massive bellyaches,” Roxy said, rubbing her
stomach for the added drama she never could resist.
    “ Exactly,” Grams said, then
winked right back at Kat.
    “ Oh shit,” I
said.
    “ Pun intended?” Roxy
asked.
    “ U betchya,” I answered,
suddenly feeling rather bad for my dad’s one-time friend Father
Time.
    I hope he has plenty of toilet
paper.

Chapter Nine
     
    T here’s that old saying that there’s no time like the
present.
    Well, let me give you the Witherspoon
Whoville version of that tidbit of wisdom…
    There’s the Time God himself – Father
Time. But I have a feeling the gift he’s about to get ain’t gonna
be the best of presents.
    Not since The Mom Squad’s now in
charge of Operation Elve-den.
    And I still can’t believe that’s what
we’re calling our plan to bust Father Time. But Roman and R had
thought it was hilarious, given the circumstances, and I had to
agree.
    Operation Elveden was the name of a
real Scotland Yard investigation regarding phone-hacking scandals,
just like the scandal that had rocked Roman and his brother’s
worlds.
    And just like in Scotland Yard’s
Elveden, our perp, Father Time, had not only been accused of
phone-hacking, but also of bribing police. Rumor had it, Father
Time had bribed my parents’ dwarf-run security force.
    So there you have it…our very own
Operation Elve-den.
    If Father Time was messin’ in my dad’s
elf den, he’d be paying for much more than phone-hacking. No one
messed with my dad’s elves and got away with it.
    We all lined-up around my mom’s
electric car, ready to embark on the short trip to Father Time’s
home, which was about a mile up the lakeshore.
    Mom was in charge of driving the
getaway car. Kat was in the front passenger seat and Grams, her
baked goods and hot tea decanters were in the back.
    Each year, regardless of whether or
not my dad was speaking to Father Time, Mom made the voyage to his
home, loaded down with Christmas cheer and goodies.
    Mom felt sorry for Father Time and
always tried to be the peacekeeper between him and my
dad.
    “ Okay,” R said, standing
beside Kat’s rolled down window and giving his team one final pep
talk, “each of you knows exactly what to do, right?”
    “ Got it,” Kat said, not
looking the least bit nervous.
    That was Kat. Always in control.
Always one step ahead of everyone else’s brain waves. And always
with balls of steel.
    “ We’ve got it, and he’s
gonna get it,” Grams spoke-up. The devilish glee gleaming from her
squinting eyes indicated she was dead serious and hell bent on
dealing out some serious mischief.
    “ Easy Grams,” Kat said,
trying her best to control her main accomplice.
    After being scolded for her
excitement, Grams sat back in her seat and almost looked as if she
were pouting.
    Of the three women, only my mom looked
a wee bit nervous. And that didn’t surprise me at all.
    My mom was all about good
karma.
    This year, however, she was going to
be doing much more than spreading good cheer.
    I gave her a thumbs-up, hoping my vote
of confidence would give her a bit more bravado.
    She smiled, but it was a rather tight
smile, indicating she wasn’t nearly as convinced as the rest of us
that what they were about to do was karmically kosher.
    As her little car sputtered out the
drive and down the long lane toward Lakeshore Drive, all the rest
of us could do…was wait.
    Well, wait and watch.
    Hell yeah, we were watchin’ all the
action.
    R and Roman had outfitted our family
room with a giant flat-screen monitor that would be piping in the
raw, live feed, first from my Mom’s car and then