Death By Carbs by Paige Nick Read Free Book Online

read, so they say.’
    The woman slipped it off the shelf herself and eyed the front cover for a millisecond before replacing it. ‘I just don’t know,’ she said, her voice a kettle-boiling whine. ‘You don’t have that new Fifty Shades of Grey book everyone has been talking about, do you?’
    Frank sighed, led her wordlessly to the front of the store, and handed her the latest spin on the bestseller. A million copies sold in its first week. The injustice of it threatened to ruin his good mood for a second.
    The woman took the book from him without thanking him and made her way to the till. Frank shook off the encounter and started whistling again as he followed her.
    â€˜Hey,’ Siya greeted him, or maybe it was Mark, or Phil, or Khanya, or who cared? The myriad revolving-door university students who part-timed alongside him in the bookstore were all the same. They all seemed impossibly young, and Frank couldn’t be arsed to remember their names. It wasn’t like he was going to hang out and discuss the latest Vladislavi ć with any of them.
    As a forty-six-year-old man working as a sales assistant in a massive chain bookstore, he knew he stood out like erotica in the kiddies section, and he knew the other staff all talked about him behind his back, but he couldn’t give a fuck. Especially today: today, he couldn’t even give two fucks.
    â€˜You’re in a good mood,’ the stripling assistant commented.
    Frank carried on whistling.
    â€˜I haven’t seen you in a good mood since . . . well come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a good mood,’ the boy said.
    â€˜Yeah? Well, first time for everything,’ Frank said.
    â€˜Did you see the news about that Banting guy?’ the kid asked.
    â€˜I heard.’ Frank gave a small self-satisfied smile.
    â€˜It’s crazy, right?’
    â€˜Wild.’
    â€˜Just awful!’ the perky girl assistant with the short dreadlocks chimed in.
    â€˜Too terrible,’ Frank added, unable to stop his small smile developing into a wide grin.
    â€˜I wonder who offed the poor guy?’ the boy said.
    â€˜It was me,’ Frank said, straight-faced, looking the kid right in the eyes.
    The boy looked at him with surprise, and then burst out laughing.
    Frank continued to stare at him, unwavering, willing the boy to challenge him.
    â€˜Ha, good one, Frank,’ the boy said, slapping him on the shoulder.
    Another woman entered the store and made a beeline for the tills. She had dirty-blonde hair that reminded Frank of his wife – or rather, his ex-wife, even though this woman was much heavier than Sylvie had been when they finally divorced. This customer carried her weight in her belly and her hips, just like Sylvie had. Her jeans stretched mercilessly at the seams.
    Frank wondered where his ex-wife was right this second. She was probably getting ready for her gym session. After her workout, she’d head off for a spot of lunch, something healthy no doubt. No more junk for her. Then she would fetch Chloe from school and take her to ballet class, and then she’d probably go fuck her gym-instructor boyfriend for an hour in the fucking house Frank had paid for. She was looking incredible these days, but then she had really put in a lot of effort. Fuck, he hated her and her now perfect tight ass and incredible divorce-settlement-shop-bought tits. Fuck her.
    â€˜Hi,’ the woman said. ‘I’m looking for that Banting book. Do you have it?’
    â€˜I think we’ve sold out,’ the boy told her apologetically. ‘We’ve got more coming in on order.’
    Frank whipped his head around. ‘What!’ he yelled.
    â€˜Sold out again?’ the perky girl piped up. ‘Sheesh, that’s like the hundredth time this year, dude.’ She had a ring in her nose, like a bull.
    â€˜Yup, we’ve had a major run on them this morning, because of