Dying for the Highlife by Dave Stanton Read Free Book Online

blonde. “We’re just taking a break.”
    “Cool,” Jimmy said. “Hey, what do you say? Would you like to take a ride with me in my limo, maybe check out some hot spots?”
    “No thanks, we’re fine here,” said the brunette.
    “Sure, why not? The Mirage is as good as it gets,” Jimmy said. “Heck, I’ve got a penthouse suite, and it’s pretty intense.”
    “How nice,” the blonde said.
    “Yeah, it’s a real palace.”
    “I’m sure it is.”
    Jimmy looked at the blonde, tried to gaze deep into her and seduce her with his great blue eyes. She looked away and lit a cigarette.
    Jimmy pulled up a chair and straddled it backward. “So, where you ladies from?”
    The brunette reached out with her left hand and straightened her arm, so her hand lay on the table directly in front of Jimmy. There was a large diamond ring on her middle finger.
    “I travel a lot myself,” he said. “Europe, Hawaii…” Jimmy tried to think of some more romantic and exotic places, but couldn’t come up with anything.
    “Well, we’re going to go find our husbands,” the brunette said.
    “Come on,” Jimmy said.
    The blonde rolled her eyes. “Have a nice life,” she said. They both stood and left.
    Jimmy watched them walk away and heard them giggling. His smile stayed intact, as if he didn’t have a care in the world, until he was struck with the realization they were laughing at him.
Well, fuck you, then.
    An hour later he was packing his bag and contemplating where to head next. He was sick of the Mirage and sick of Vegas in general. The city was full of uppity women. He finished packing and was almost ready to take the elevator downstairs and hit the road in his Lamborghini, when an article in a magazine he was glancing through caught his eye.
    The headline read:
Tired of the bar scene? Why not Internet dating?
    Jimmy had never owned a computer. During the years the PC had become a ubiquitous appliance, he’d been in a state of arrested development, moving from town to town, working menial jobs. Though he was familiar with the concept of the World Wide Web, he really didn’t understand how it worked. He read the article with interest. It listed a number of Internet dating sites and made some brief references to sites that focused on sex rather than relationships.
    After rereading the article, Jimmy called the general manager of the Mirage (he’d given Jimmy his cell phone number, saying if there was anything Jimmy needed—
anything
—just call). Jimmy asked him to send a photographer and an Internet-ready PC to his room.
    “Jim, are you planning to stay another night with us?” the manager asked.
    “I might.”
    “Splendid. I’ll have your request taken care of immediately.”
    By early that evening, Jimmy Homestead had his Internet dating profile, including pictures, posted on three popular websites. The photographer had done all the setup work. The only thing Jimmy had to do was pose for the pictures and write his self-description. Here’s what he came up with:
    HANDSOME, HUNG, AND RICH
    Hello girls. If you’re looking for a man that has it all, I just might be available. I’m independently wealthy and accept only the best life has to offer. The world’s most luxurious hotels are my home, at least until I decide where to buy a mansion. My Lamborghini is rare, my eyes are as blue as the sea, and my hair is the envy of most men my age. I have a fun sense of humor, and am an extremely intelligent and interesting alpha male.
    Who I’m looking for—well, let’s put it this way—I only date women who are head turners. Sex is a BIG priority in my life. If it’s a big priority in yours, you’ve passed the first test. If you have any doubt about your weight, or appearance in general, no need to respond. Please be in your twenties, or perhaps early thirties, as long as you are truly a knock out. I am a breast and butt man—if you are lacking either, no need to respond. Silicon implants are acceptable. I prefer