The Undead Kama Sutra by Mario Acevedo Read Free Book Online Page A

ills.”
    I nodded. “Of course. I’ve used that line lots of times.”
    “I’m serious. Sex in the correct sequence of these poses,” Carmen tapped the manuscript, “can realign your chakras.”
    “Do you know what that means? You’ve found a way for us vampires to play in the sun,” I held out my tanned arms, “and now with this Kama Sutra , it’ll be like we’re almost alive again.”
    “We’re not in the Garden of Eden yet,” she replied.
    “Where did your manuscript come from?”
    “I pieced together fragments of ancient writings. Tibetan. Sanskrit. What’s left of the Aztec codices. Sumerian monographs. I had problems with that particular dialect.”
    “How old are you?”
    Carmen’s aura flashed a touch of indignation. “Since when is it okay to ask a lady her age?”
    “My bad,” I said. “Are you sure you’re not using this as an excuse for marathon sex?”
    “I don’t need an excuse for marathon sex. But this is beyond that. Correcting the energy flow through your chakras will reverse psychic damage and heal your mental and emotional wounds.” Carmen set the manuscript on top of the briefcase. “That’s the theory. I haven’t yet found out if and how it works.”
    She turned around and leaned against the table. Her eyes gleamed seductively. “We could practice a few of the poses. As research.” She loosened her ponytail. With a shake of her head, wild, curly locks of black hair splashed over her shoulders. She heaved and the T-shirt pulled taut across her nipples. “Anything special you’d like to try?”
    I matched her seductive gaze. “Oh yeah,” I drawled.
    She gave an expectant nod.
    I said, “Coffee, if you got any.”
    “Coffee?” Carmen’s grin faded. The glare from her eyes could’ve melted iron. She swiped at me with her open hand.
    I caught her wrist.
    Her lips pursed, then curved into a puzzled smile. “Goddamn you, Felix.” She tore free.
    “We’re immortal. What’s the rush?” Females, human or vampire, didn’t come any lustier than Carmen. Truth was, I hadn’t had sex with a vampire yet, and I wanted my first to be someone who wouldn’t make me limp for the rest of the week.
    “One day I’m not ever going to offer again,” she said. “Then you’ll have no choice but to kill yourself out of regret.”
    “Carmen, are you begging?”
    “Ha, don’t flatter yourself.”
    “Must be nice being the center of the universe.”
    “I love it just fine.” Carmen went to the next room. Bags and cartons of foodstuffs sat on a shelf beside a water cooler. She brewed coffee over a small propane stove.
    I thumbed through the manuscript and counted over two hundred ways of getting it on. What a scholarly triumph. “Who came up with the names for these poses? ‘Tiger and the Wheelbarrow.’ ‘Painting the Lily.’ ‘Feast of Mangoes.’”
    Carmen yelled her answer so I’d hear her from the next room. “Those are my translations. Colorful, huh?”
    She came back with a couple of plastic to-go cups. “It’s a fair-trade Cuban blend. Sierra Maestra with goat’s blood.”
    The coffee smelled great. I put the manuscript down.
    “Hope you learned something.” She gave me one of the cups. “I would call you stud but we wouldn’t know that, would we?”
    “I appreciate the compliment. What are you going to do with this manuscript?”
    “Get it published, what else? The general public will get off on the New Age woo-woo angle and we vampires willhave yet something else that we passed under the noses of the blunt tooths. In the meantime, I’ve got more research to do.” She grinned. “The fun stuff.”
    We walked to the pier, sat on the edge, and dangled our bare feet over the water. The resort’s Bayliner was docked next to us.
    “You guys only have one boat?” I asked. “Seems you’d have more.”
    “Antoine’s got one.”
    “Where is it?”
    Carmen pointed to the water fifty feet from the pier. A white oblong object rested on the bottom of