100 Sideways Miles by Andrew Smith Read Free Book Online Page B

. I shook my head apologetically. “I’m not very nice. I’m sorry.”
    â€œIt’s okay, Finn. Really. I . . . um. I cleaned up your floor.”
    I was horrified.
    â€œWhy?”
    But before Julia Bishop could answer me, the front door swung open and Cade Hernandez, awkwardly carrying two Flat Face Pizza boxes in one hand, jangling car keys and a paper sack containing what I clearly saw to be at least two twelve-packs of beer in the other, came into the house.
    Monica Fassbinder was right behind him, hanging on to his elbow.
    Cade and Monica looked up at me as I stood at the top of the stairs, naked except for a damp bath towel wrapped around my hips. Then Cade glanced at Julia Bishop before he looked back at me one more time.
    He was chewing tobacco. I could see it growing like desert tumbleweeds below the teeth that showed in Cade’s astonished grin.
    Cade Hernandez nearly dropped his pizza boxes and sack of beer.
    He was very drunk.
    Twenty miles.
    Monica Fassbinder said, “Oh. Ha ha! Oops, Finn.”
    Twenty miles.
    And Cade said, “Holy fucking shit, Finn! You better have used a condom!”
    Ridiculous.
    â€¢Â â€¢Â â€¢
    I could have died on the spot.
    What else could possibly have gone wrong?
    I threw my hands up in defeat and said, “Cade Hernandez, Monica Fassbinder: Meet Julia Bishop, my new neighbor. Julia: This is Cade, my best friend. He’s staying here for the next five days, trying to kill me with embarrassment while my parents are in New York, and this is his . . . um . . . girlfriend, Monica. Why don’t you all chat amongst yourselves while I go and change into something that isn’t quite so fucking naked  ?”
    And with that, I backed away from the railing and shut myself inside my bedroom.
    Slam!
    â€¢Â â€¢Â â€¢
    I did not get dressed.
    Inside my room, in the dark, my towel and I climbed up onto my bed, and I lay there with a pillow over my face.
    I could easily have started to cry; I was acting like such a baby.
    But I just wanted everything to disappear, to drift away into namelessness again, and then stay that way for another fourteen billion years.
    And I did not intend to go back downstairs either. I lay there imagining all the terrible things Cade Hernandez might be saying or doing to ensure the complete ruination of any chance I might ever have at finding a normal, decent friend who also happened to be a beautiful girl.
    What was I thinking?
    Eventually—who knew how many miles it was—the door opened and the light flicked on.
    â€œLeave me the fuck alone,” I said.
    â€œYou okay, Finn?”
    â€œI got a headache.”
    â€œDude.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œThat girl.”
    â€œWhat did she say?”
    â€œShe didn’t say nothing, Finn.”
    â€œSure she didn’t.”
    I felt Cade lean against the top bunk, beside my knees. Even with my pillow pressed over my face, I could smell the booze on him, the atoms from what he’d been getting drunk on wheezing out into the universe with each breath Cade Hernandez exhaled.
    â€œYou . . . uh . . . did that thing, didn’t you?”
    Cade Hernandez knew I blanked out.
    â€œYes. I did my fucking thing, Cade.”
    â€œUm. Your dad made me promise I would call him if it happened. What time is it in New York?”
    â€œHere plus three,” I said.
    Cade answered, “You and your fucking math.”
    â€œOh, yeah? Well, fuck you, too, Win-Win. And as long as you’re going to call my dad, just pass the phone over to me, because he made me promise I’d call him if you ever got drunk.”
    â€œFuck that. I ain’t calling, Finn. I wouldn’t do that.”
    â€œSorry.”
    â€œDude.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œThat girl.”
    â€œI know.”

WILLIAM MULHOLLAND’S SELF-TAUGHT MISTAKE
    Cade Hernandez could talk me into doing just about