2cool2btrue by Simon Brooke Read Free Book Online Page B

my new desk and is asking me to find products and services that 2cool would have a “natural market affinity with.”
    I start to look through them but almost immediately he gives me a list of things we “need” for the office, such as a stereo system, a visiting masseuse, laptops for him and Guy, and a couple of company cars because apparently we won’t look good arriving at potential affinity partners’ offices in a battered old cab. He also asks me to find out about trips to Mauritius and some spas in East Asia. “We’re going to have to get away from here, all of us, at some point, and brainstorm. You know, get some distance from this office so that we can see the wood for the trees.”
    I like the idea of brainstorming and seeing wood rather than trees while two babes give me a simultaneous massage in a bamboo hut set on stilts above the rippling, azure waters of a secluded lagoon, but I’m not quite sure how to arrange it—or the stereo or the laptops.
    Piers looks slightly surprised and annoyed. “Just ring them up, get them to send the stuff over and tell them to bill us.”
    “Oh, okay.”
    “It’s standard purchasing procedure, Charlie.”
    Nervously, I call a few of the luxury goods suppliers on the list Piers has given me. Amazingly they agree, promising the goods within the next four working days. Soon clothes, more office furniture, sophisticated computers, even a couple of watches to replace my Swatch jobbie are on their way over to us.
    And to think I’m getting paid for this.
     
    At lunchtime I go with Scarlett to get a sandwich.
    “I’m a vegan,” she says, heading for an organic, vegetarian café and takeaway called Wild World which apparently offers “Sustenance for the body, mind and soul.”
    “I’m an omnivore,” I tell her.
    “Is that like being Jewish? Does that mean you can’t eat certain things?” she asks.
    “Er, no,” I say, feeling slightly embarrassed at toying with her obviously heartfelt views. “You know, omnivore—like some animals.”
    “Oh, right, so you can only, like, eat some animals. Which ones, for instance?”
    “No, I mean, I’m not a herbivore. I eat anything.”
    “I see,” she says, with a toss of her dreadlocked head. I remember at this point that I’m supposed to a spokesman for the company. Perhaps communication isn’t my thing, after all.
    In the end we both get sandwiches: cheese and tomato for me and hummus and alfalfa sprouts for her, and she buys me a tiny shot of wheatgrass which, she explains, contains the equivalent nutrients of six tons of green vegetables or something.
    It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted.
     
    “We’re still at the early stages,” I tell Lauren that evening as we sit on our white settee, sipping Frascati. I’m saying this as much to reassure myself as to explain it to her. I still don’t know exactly what 2cool2btrue dot com actually does but Piers and Guy keep telling me that “it will become clear very soon” or “all will be revealed.”
    “I think it’s all very exciting. I’m so proud of you,” says Lauren. Then she adds, “Like you say, even if it doesn’t work out, you’ve given your best shot and anyway, nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
    Did I say that?
    “So how did your meeting with thingy go?”
    “With Peter?”
    “What’s his name again?”
    “Peter Beaumont-Crowther.”
    “Bit of a mouthful.” She ignores my less than complimentary remark and carries on. I squeeze her arm by way of apology for belittling her fledgling TV career.
    “They want me to do some more screen tests and go on a TV presentation course.”
    “Really? That’s great. They’re really going to invest some money in you then.”
    “Yeah, because I’m worth it.”
    “Isn’t that a line from an ad campaign?”
    “Yeah. I was in it, remember?”

Chapter
    5
    H ello? Keith?” says my mum.
    “Hi, Mum,” I say, holding the receiver under my chin as I turn down the stereo which I’m