A Broken Paradise (The Windows of Heaven Book 3) by K.G. Powderly Jr. Read Free Book Online

special sage that gave her the Elixir. In a couple weeks, Tsuli was back to normal, as good at her studies as before. She even wanted to play again—which was when she told her two friends about what had happened to her.
    T iva found the news crushing.
    She suddenly realized in a flash of dark brilliance that the Guild had not given the mages of Sa-utar—or her brother—any real knowledge about the elixirs at all, only the elixirs themselves. She could never tell the academy matrons about how she unintentionally “enticed” without revealing what was going on with Yargat, which meant everyone else would find out. Around the same time, she noticed something else too.
    Yargat repeat ed things he had already told her—things he had no doubt memorized himself—ideas his Academy instructors must have wanted him to believe about the elixirs. He never spoke about how they actually worked or of their ingredients. When Tsuli told her that the Girl’s Elixir required a specially-trained sage from the Guild to administer it, all hope died. The mage in Yargat’s eyes rapidly faded away, as the Fear returned to Tiva in a new, all-penetrating, far more menacing form.
    Soon it was as bad as before—worse, because things were far more complicated than she ever could have imagined. In the end, Yargat’s torrent of words ran through her mind in desperate litanies to try to ease her quaking conscience. Yet the magic was gone from them, just as the spiritual power had departed, from Atum-Ra’s cask. This isn’t my fault! My bodily humors are just out of balance or something, that’s all. I’ve never been able to control what happens—it just happens. We can’t help it. The horrible feelings will pass!
    But they didn’t pass. The Fear kept growing, day by day, too much to bury, too much to fake—until it consumed the last empty shell of elation.
    Then, one day, it happened.
    There was no decision to it—the torrent just snatched her away.
    Tiva hardly remembered her walk down from the Shrine. What happened afterward became a blur. She paced around the outer court of the Girl’s Academy like a caged animal. Her stomach churned with violent sensations that had no name. Rage— shame—love—hate—humiliation—pain—desperation—secrecy—despair, her blood foamed with an emotion none of these words adequately described, and yet somehow it included all of them together and more—more than she could contain any longer.
    Usually she settled her nerves enough during the early morning walk from Shrine to Academy that the trembling didn’t reach the surface. Most times , she could lock her face into a mask and force her limbs to the outward tasks of getting to the ziggurat, and finding her first dialogue session.
    Not today.
    A year had passed since she had begun morning “counseling” with Yargat. Tiva didn’t understand—it wasn’t as though she hadn’t settled into the routine. She did everything he said correctly and listened to him carefully to try to understand. Yargat only said good things to Father about her now, but it seemed to make no difference with the Fear.
    What’s happening to me?
    Her veil lay trampled in the dust, where she had just thrown it.
    Tsulia, along with Tiva’s other girl friend from the old Seer Clan school, followed her furious pacing with the tenacity of terror. They seemed to shout in at her with muffled voices through a thick haze.
    Tsuli wailed, pointing to the broken veil frame, “Tiva! Are you crazy? Your father’ll kill you!”
    Weri tried to grip Tiva’s shoulders, but she couldn’t hold on. “Tell us what’s wrong? Maybe we can help! Did your father cane you again?”
    They were both so out of touch, as if they spoke from behind a cloudy glass, with feeble clinging hands that only got in her way. From somewhere outside of herself, Tiva heard her own voice answer them. She had just enough control not to speak of her brother’s “counseling,” but her far-off outburst found