A Country Marriage by Sandra Jane Goddard Read Free Book Online Page B

understanding between a man and his wife on their wedding night. So what should she do about it? There was no point staying where she was; that would just make her look even more foolish. She had asked to go and take off her dress and he had agreed. So she would climb the ladder and if he called her back, well, that was his prerogative and she would obey.
    Hampered by the fabric of her dress and the trembling of her legs, she proceeded gingerly, hearing him exhale heavily behind her. And once at the top, she tiptoed so quickly across the cold floorboards that by the time he appeared through the hatch she was already folding her dress and laying it carefully on top of a trunk at the foot of the bed, the sharp chill of the room causing her to shudder as she did so. Now what was she supposed to do though? Indeed, what was he going to do? Unsettlingly, the immediate answer seemed to be ‘nothing’; and adding to the discomfort of his gaze was the fact that she had no idea as to the done thing; was she supposed to remove her chemise or would he expect to do that? Or indeed, would he leave it on? Sitting on the edge of the mattress, uncomfortable with any of these options, she braced herself and without looking in his direction, pulled the garment swiftly over her head, dropped it to the floor, swung her legs up onto the bed and hastily pulled up the blanket.
    Not daring to look back at him, she lay completely still. Gooseflesh darted across her skin but she tried to ignore it, focusing her attention instead on the rafters above her head. Then she heard him sigh; a weary sigh; a sigh of resignation and disappointment; a sigh that told her she had done wrong. Already, she had managed to do wrong. And then she became aware of footsteps followed by what she recognised as the rustle of clothing and the sound of him blowing out the candle. Darkness. Well, thank goodness for that, at least.
    Under the blanket, fear was holding her arms rigidly at her sides and – mortified that he would hear her teeth chattering – she clamped her jaw and bit on her tongue. For a moment or so nothing happened but then she felt the mattress dip and guessed that he had climbed in beside her. But if he had, then why was he now hesitating? Hadn’t he liked what he saw? Perhaps he had been hoping for someone as womanly as Annie, although surely he must have realised from the outset that she was rather shapeless in that regard.
    When she felt the bed covers moving, she sensed that he was turning to face her; not that she was about to look. And then a hand crept across her stomach and settled there.
    ‘All right?’ His voice sounded soft; his concern seemingly genuine.
    ‘Yes.’ Perhaps he was exhausted. Perhaps he was just going to let her fall asleep. Perhaps tomorrow… but no, not tomorrow; it was going to be tonight because his hand was moving from her stomach; was sliding down over her hip and on to her thigh, his fingers frighteningly purposeful. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her leg was being edged outwards and so, swallowing hard, she moved her other knee in the opposite direction. You’ll just know what’s wanted of you . Then his hand slid up over her stomach to her breast. Too taut now even to breathe, she lay motionless, hearing what sounded like a deflated sigh as he lifted himself on top of her.
    ‘I’ll try not to hurt you too much.’ For some reason, thoughtfulness had been the last thing she was expecting. Perhaps, then, it wouldn’t be so bad after all. Something of nothing . But as she felt his hand moving back inside her thigh, without meaning to she stiffened afresh. And then, without warning, there was a fiery smarting as something forced inside her. She bit hard on her tongue, containing what otherwise would have escaped as a cry but even so, tears poured from her tightly shut eyes to run down her temples and into her hair. Then, before she had time to gather her thoughts, there was more pain and she heard him grunt. ‘Try