A Cowgirl's Christmas by C. J. Carmichael Read Free Book Online Page B

them.”
    “It’s like a gift from heaven,” Sage whispered. “Or a dream. I’m afraid if I reach for it, my envelope will disappear and I’ll wake up.”
    Callan knew exactly how she felt. And yet they only had a few hours before the others returned from their horse ride. “Mattie go first.”
    “Okay.” Mattie reached out her hand and touched the paper. She smiled. “It’s real.” Then she picked it up and turned it over. Whatever adhesive might have held down the flap had long ago broken down and she pulled out a single seat of paper filled with writing.
    “I’m going to read this aloud.” She sank into a cross-legged position and leaned over the letter.
    Dear Mattie, if you’re reading this it’s because I’m dead and never had a chance to tell you the truth about your father. I promised Hawksley I would keep this secret as long as he was alive. It was one of the conditions of our very complicated marriage, a marriage that suited the old adage, marry in haste, repent in leisure.
    I was very young when I started seeing Hawksley. I’d just broken off with a man I was crazy about—and I was also pregnant with this other man’s baby. I told Hawksley the truth, and he offered to marry me. He’d been in love with me for a long time, and I think he saw this as his golden opportunity to have me. But in the end, I wasn’t the right wife for him. I wasn’t strong or tough enough.
    But my life had its rewards, and you were the first, Mattie. Your biological father, Bill Sheenan, never knew you were his. Or at least he may have suspected, but I never confirmed it out of loyalty to Hawksley.
    I’m so sorry for this deception, my girl. I hope I loved you enough to make up for the hurt of being denied your true father.
    All my love, your Mother.
    Stunned silence followed Mattie’s reading of the closing line. Callan had been nursing a suspicion about her own parenthood. But Mattie’s? Never. Was this what her father had been referring to when he’d uttered that last word in the ambulance? Maybe he’d thought she was Mattie. Everyone said they looked alike, and by then he would have been very lightheaded and confused.
    “This is crazy,” Mattie said slowly. “And yet...something about it feels right. At least it makes me feel less guilty about the lack of connection I had with Hawksley.”
    “I never would have guessed,” Dani said. “Too bad we didn’t find this out before Bill Sheenan passed away.”
    “The timing is interesting,” Mattie said. “Both men dying within a year of each other. You realize if Mom hadn’t been killed by that stupid cow she would be sitting here right now, telling us this news in person.”
    “Don’t you wish she’d told you from the beginning?” Sage asked.
    “I’m not sure,” Mattie said softly. “My relationship with Hawksley would have been even more tense. But I do wonder if Bill Sheenan knew the truth. I can remember him singling me out a few times at various community events. He’d ask how I was doing, and seemed really interested.”
    “I wonder what’s in the other letters?” Callan’s eyes were on the one meant for her. She rubbed her fingers together, resisting the urge to grab for it.
    “I’m not sure I want to read mine,” Dani said. “I’m still reeling from Mattie’s.”
    “Same here,” Sage agreed.
    “Then I’ll go next.” Before anyone could argue, Callan snatched hers and pulled out the letter.
    Dear Callan, you were a handful from the start. My most challenging delivery, a colicky baby and a temperamental toddler. But you adored Hawksley from the beginning, would follow him every chance you got.
    I wish I had been able to share those feelings. But a few years before you were born, I’d become deeply unhappy with my marriage. I made the mistake of inviting Bill Sheenan in one night when your father was camping out in the mountains, during the fall round-up. I’d dated Bill when I was younger and he had a sensitive side that I