eyes.
“I’m sorry to have had to put you through that. There was a bag with her that she was hiking with. It all belongs to you now,” Dr. Liddell explained, handing Jack the small hiking bag. She’d been ill prepared for the drastic change in weather that is common in that part of the state. Nearby Mount Washington has recorded some of the worst weather on the planet, and the rest of the White Mountains are not immune.
“Thank you,” Jack said, taking the bag, not able to make eye contact. He rubbed the few tears away that were forming in his eyes.
“Jack, let’s go sit down. I have to ask you a few questions,” I said and took him by the elbow to lead him back upstairs to the office.
“Do I have to do it right now?” he asked quietly, letting himself be led.
“Yes. Let’s get it over with so you can start to heal and move on,” I suggested.
“OK,” he relented easily.
“You were out of town on business until this afternoon, correct?” I asked once we were both seated and a tape recorder had been turned on.
“Yes.”
“When did you leave?”
“Friday morning.”
“When was the last time you talked to Sarah?”
“Saturday night.”
“Where did your business trip take you?”
“Yellowstone.”
“What was the business purpose of the trip?”
“I had meetings Friday and Saturday. Then Sunday through this morning I was outside of cell phone contact surveying an area for a cell phone tower. I had told Sarah that I would see her when I got home before we hung up on Saturday night. She hated that I was without communication for days at a time sometimes.”
“Did Sarah mention anything about her plans for Sunday when you talked to her un Saturday?”
“Yes. She told me she was planning to go hiking. But she always brings our dog Casino and hikes all the time so I didn’t think anything of it. She goes alone at least half the time, but has always let someone know when and where she was going if I wasn’t home. Where is Casino?” he asked, suddenly realizing that the dog hadn’t been found with Sarah’s body.
“I don’t know. I would check shelters in the area. Those are all of our questions. We’ll be in touch if we need anything else from you,” I said and turned off the recorder. We both stood and he turned to leave.
“Jack, if you need anything, you know where to find Allen and me,” I said to his back.
“Thanks man, that means a lot,” he said without turning.
Marissa – September 2009
“Marissa, thanks for coming and staying with me. I can’t do this alone,” Jack said the second morning I was staying with him. The house was lonely without Sarah. I’d only been there a few times, but I always came for her. Especially the last time, after her miscarriage.
“I can’t either. There’s so much to think of and make sure it gets done. And all for what? She’s just going in the ground,” I said cynically. We had three days left until the funeral. Jack had taken the week off, if not more, and I had gone on sabbatical at the last minute. It was unconventional, but given the circumstances, my department had nearly demanded it.
“Have you looked at the list this morning?”
“No. I’m trying to pretend things are normal still and Sarah’s going to walk down the stairs. Give me a few more minutes of my ignorant bliss,” I said, cracking a false smile. We’d been playing this game since I’d arrived. One of us would be stuck in reality while the other was grasping at straws to remain oblivious to the truth that Sarah was never coming back. We’d both try to bring the other into our world, only to flip flop and never be thinking on the same plane.
I’d made a list of things that had to be done before the funeral: flowers, hors d’oeuvres for the wake, newspaper listing musicians, finalizing details at the church and the cemetery. Sarah had lived here all
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