A Guilty Affair by Maureen Smith Read Free Book Online Page A

wishing it were Mario Cruz’s neck instead. Since yesterday, the kid had been blabbering to everyone about pulling Riley over for speeding.
    Paulo looked at him. “You already knew, didn’t you?”
    Noah hesitated, then reluctantly nodded. “I saw her.”
    â€œReally? How’s she doing?”
    â€œShe seems all right,” Noah lied. No way was he telling anyone—especially another cop—that the fiancée of their fallen comrade was on a mission to prove Trevor had been responsible for his own death.
    â€œDid she say how she’s enjoying life up North? Her job at the Washington Post? ”
    Noah shook his head, sipping his beer. “We didn’t really talk about it.”
    â€œWhat did you talk about?” Paulo prodded.
    â€œNot much. It was a short visit.”
    As Paulo regarded him in shrewd silence, Noah braced himself for the question he knew was coming. But even when it did, he felt as if he’d taken a hard blow to the chest.
    â€œWhen are you finally going to tell her how you feel?”
    Noah closed his eyes for a moment. “I’m not.”
    â€œSo you’d rather keep torturing yourself.”
    â€œI’m not tortured.”
    Paulo said nothing. The lie hung between them, as thick and palpable as the cloud of cigarette smoke that hung over their heads. Paulo was the only one who knew about Noah’s feelings for Riley. Not even his brother knew. If he’d been in his right mind, the secret would’ve followed him to the grave.
    On the night of Trevor’s funeral, Noah had wanted nothing more than to obliterate his grief and pain by drowning himself in a bottle of whiskey. When he arrived at the bar that fateful night, he’d found Paulo already hunched over the counter, nursing a drink. The two men started talking, and by Noah’s third glass of whiskey, he was spilling his guts to Paulo about his feelings for Riley. Paulo had listened to his slurred ramblings in silence, so silent that Noah figured Paulo was probably drunk himself and wouldn’t remember a word of Noah’s confession once they left the bar.
    He was wrong.
    The next day, Paulo called him up and asked one simple question. “What’re you going to do about Riley?”
    It was the last time Noah had allowed himself to drink following an emotional crisis.
    â€œWhy are you punishing yourself for being in love with Trevor’s fiancée?” Paulo asked now, keeping his voice low enough not to be overheard by others.
    â€œThink about what you just said,” Noah bit off tersely. “She was my best friend’s fiancée.”
    â€œYeah, I get that. But Trevor’s not here anymore, man. And, as hard as it is for you to accept, he’s not coming back.”
    â€œSo does that mean I should just move in on his girl?” Noah growled.
    Paulo frowned. “It’s been three years. You wouldn’t exactly be ‘moving in’ on her, mi amigo . And I don’t think anyone else would see it that way, either.”
    Noah scowled. “This isn’t about what other people think. It’s about what I think is right and wrong. What I feel here,” he said, stabbing a finger at his heart, “is wrong.”
    â€œWhy the hell is it? I mean, why can’t it be you, Roarke? Because Trevor met her first?” When Noah said nothing, Paulo shook his head in exasperation. “Riley Kane is a damned beautiful woman. You and I both know she’s not gonna be single forever. Eventually, when she comes out of mourning, she’s going to be ready for another relationship, and when she is, do you want her to end up with you—or some other lucky bastard? Think about that, my friend. Think real hard.”
    Noah already had. It was all he’d thought about for the past three years. The idea of Riley with another man made him fiercely jealous—and profoundly miserable. He couldn’t stomach the thought