hungry? I'm
going to cook some pasta."
"You know how to cook?"
"Yes, the essential stuff."
Javier wanted to tell him something,
but wasn't sure if it was another wrong comment. After a while, Esteban looked
back at him and asked, "What is it?"
"Esteban, I have a theory about
why Diego got involved in that whole mess."
"You know why?" Esteban was
curious.
"Well, not exactly why, but I
think I know the reason he was able to perform with that girl."
"I'm listening." Esteban
said encouragingly.
Javier lowered his voice.
"Because Raul was in the room,
probably in the same bed?"
Esteban looked at him in
astonishment. "Do you think?"
"Uh-huh," Javier affirmed.
"I can't believe what sex does
to people, it's amazing how far some would go for pleasure." Esteban shook
his head in amazement.
"Well, maybe you should try it
so you can sympathize."
Again, Javier regretted talking, but
there was something in Esteban that urged him to be daring. When Esteban
ignored the comment and turned around to set the coffeemaker, Javier wished he
were not HIV positive, so he could seduce him. He smiled at that thought, because
he'd always been seduced. He'd never taken the initiative with anyone. Maybe
with someone with limited experience he wouldn't mind.
"How virgin are you?"
Javier boldly asked.
Esteban set the coffee can on the
counter with extra strength and turned around. When Javier saw Esteban's mouth
drop half open in shock, he decided not to back down, no matter what. There
were so many things they could do without putting him at risk.
"What are you asking,
Javier?"
Before he could answer, Raul entered
the kitchen, and asked, "Esteban, did you call Mom?"
"No. I forgot, I'm calling her
right now." Then Esteban squinted at Javier
and shook his head before heading for the living room. Raul served himself
coffee after offering Javier some, which he turned down.
Raul sipped a few times, and standing
next to Javier whispered, "You like Esteban, right?"
"Yes, he has been very kind to
me."
"Maybe you can return the favor.
He will be back to the church in a few days if something dramatic doesn't
happen," Raul confided.
"How do you know?"
"This is the third time he has
tried to quit. The only thing that could prevent him from going back to his
sanctity is a carnal sin that he wished to repeat often."
Javier faced him, ignoring how
seductive he looked with his wet hair and wrapped in a bathrobe.
"And why are you telling me
this?" Javier demanded .
Raul smiled and the way he looked him
up and down confirmed his suspicion that poor Diego didn't stand a chance if
this person was in seducing mode. Esteban had no idea of who his brother really
was.
"My bedroom is the one across
from yours, I have condoms in the nightstand drawer, and I won't be back until
the morning. Make him sin, badly." He drawled
the last words.
Openmouthed, Javier watched Raul
walking away while the words carnal sin flashed in his mind in red neon lights.
****
After Raul left, Esteban and Javier had dinner in an
enervating silence. Later on, Esteban refused his help to clean the kitchen and
suggested Javier take some time for himself because he also needed a break.
Javier found the room Raul assigned to him really nice, and in that moment, a
real shelter.
Feeling like a kid sent to his room, Javier wondered if
following Esteban around was right, maybe he was imposing, but he didn't want
to go back to his parents, and he liked being with Esteban. There were so many
things he wanted to talk with him about. In that moment, he recalled Esteban's
expression looking at the picture of the kids, it had been tender, but it
changed when Raul asked if he wanted his own. So, Esteban didn't want any kids,
or didn't plan to father any.
Did this confirm that he was gay? He didn't give away any
signs at all, and Javier always prided himself on having a great gay-radar. Who
knows? He might be getting old or out of practice.
He grimaced, he would be lucky if