A Thousand Deaths by George Alec Effinger Read Free Book Online Page A

what his undertaking meant.
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    Death is difficult. Countless generations of people before us have passed along this message. Dying is not particularly tough, but death itself is an aggravation.
    Dying is easy. The expiring person has little to do; it's almost as though the hard part is done for him. The really tedious details are left to the survivors and the attendant hangers-on. Scenes at the deathbed are often grotesque and cruel, but only because the survivors make it that way. How peaceful and untroubled a dying man seems, as soothing death draws the final veil over his eyes. The mourning is usually already in progress at this point, and will continue as long as anyone can derive the least satisfaction from it. But before the moment of death the mourners are put through a difficult time, a passage of fear and lying and ugliness that will remain in the memory long after the loved one himself has begun to fade.
    Was this some kind of lesson, then? Was Sheldon trying to pass on the wisdom learned in the community's hundred and twenty- our years on Planet D? Courane expected some kind of initiation into the ways of the group, but starting right out, bango, with the last agonies of an old woman gave Courane a morbid feeling he did not enjoy. Surely there were more profitable ways to pass this day....
    But this wasn't Earth, he told himself. That fact was being thrown at him at every turn. And these people had developed their own culture, and it was bound to be a bit odd, having been cut off from Earth for so long. But they could have the decency to introduce him slowly. They could have a little more respect for his unprepared feelings.
    It was the morning following Courane's arrival before Zofia was ready to let go for the last time. Word came down from the infirmary and everyone dropped his chores to hurry to her bedside. It was a kind of binding social ritual and communion as well. Courane observed it rather than take any part in it. He found it just a bit distasteful, so he stood to one side and studied the eight watchers at the old woman's bedside. They whispered to each other with solemn faces. Sheldon stood with Alohilani and the older boy, Kenny. Molly talked with two men, one named Daan; Courane didn't recall the name of the other. He looked at each person there and tried to remember their names and what they had said to him. These were the people he would be living with now; these people were his family. He had better learn to like them or, failing that, to tolerate them for the benefit of the community. There was a short black man named Fletcher, who was arrogant and possibly quite mean. There was a skinny woman named Goldie, who had a hatchet face and a shrill voice; Courane knew nothing more about her.
    It wasn't, all in all, the sort of crew he would want to get stuck with in a lifeboat. But in a way, that's exactly what had happened.
    Alohilani left the group and came to Courane's side. "Sandy?" she said. "Do I have your name right?"
    "Yes. And I'm not sure I have the pronunciation of yours down, either."
    She laughed. It was a lovely sound. "Most people call me Lani. It's easier. You seem shy."
    Courane looked down uncomfortably at the floor. "I am, a little. I haven't been here a full day and I don't really know anyone very well. I don't feel as though I belong here yet, and here I am at the bed of an old woman, waiting for her to die."
    Alohilani put a graceful hand on Courane's arm. "You belong here," she said in a low voice. "You aren't here by mistake, are you?"
    Courane gave an ironic laugh. "No," he said.
    "None of us is. And here we can look at some natural events in a person's life more clearly than we did in our old lives. We see these things as if for the first time. They become more important. In a way, life here is more gracious. Zofia can die with dignity here. You know what it would be like for her in a nursing home back on Earth."
    Courane nodded. What she meant was that their lives had been