A Very Peculiar Plague by Catherine Jinks Read Free Book Online Page A

could object, Mr Lubbock scurried over to the plush curtain, which he pushed aside to reveal a much larger room with a raised platform at one end. In front of this platform were several rows of wooden benches. Behind it, the grubby plaster wall was covered with colourful placards.
    Jem decided that the single door to the left of the platform must lead backstage.
    ‘Hi! Eduardo! Come here at once!’ Mr Lubbock cried. Then he turned to Alfred, who had followed him into the makeshift theatre, and explained, ‘Our bogle is the scion of a renowned Italian family, skilled in all the theatrical arts. But he grew too heavy for clowning or tumbling, and has found his true calling elsewhere.’
    ‘You ain’t got no box seats,’ Jem remarked, having satisfied himself that the room wasn’t high enough to accommodate a gallery. His gaze snagged on several hooks in the ceiling. ‘Was this here a butcher’s shop, once?’
    Before Mr Lubbock could answer, a huge, hairy shape emerged through the stage door. Even from a distance, Jem could see at once that it was a very large man in a brown fur suit made of rabbit or cat. The arms of the suit were enclosed by a pair of fur mittens, topped with claws made of horn or bone. Under one arm was tucked a detached head, complete with snout, tusks and a hinged jaw.
    Jem decided that the head was probably moulded out of papier-mâché, or something equally light. The teeth were real, though – unless they had been fashioned from porcelain.
    Miss Eames wrinkled her nose in disgust. ‘ Really , Mr Lubbock,’ she protested.
    But the showman ignored her. Instead, with a theatrical flourish, he introduced Eduardo to ‘the real Birdie McAdam’. Then he fixed his little blue eyes on Birdie again. ‘I’ll warrant you’d make short work of this bogle – eh, m’dear?’ he said.
    ‘He don’t look like no bogle I ever saw,’ was Birdie’s response, as the man in the fur suit stared at her blankly. His big, bony, square-jawed face stuck out of his shaggy brown collar like a strange bloom sprouting from a flower pot. His hair and eyes were even darker than Jem’s.
    ‘I don’ unnerstand,’ he said to Mr Lubbock. ‘Bedelia issa leaving?’
    ‘No, no, you’re not listening, Ed. This is Birdie McAdam. The real Birdie McAdam. Now why don’t you put on that head and show her what you can do?’
    Eduardo opened his mouth, still looking puzzled. But then someone else broke into the conversation.
    ‘What do you mean, Bedelia is leaving?’ a shrill voice exclaimed. ‘I’ll have you know I ain’t going nowhere ! Not without a fight!’
    Suddenly two more figures emerged from the backstage door. One was a dwarf wearing a false beard and a wax nose. He was dressed all in green, with a pointed green hat and knitted stockings. The other was a girl with a python draped over her shoulders. She was clad in a blonde wig, a white dress and a blue velvet sash. Jem decided that she was about sixteen years old.
    ‘Why, Bedelia!’ Mr Lubbock exclaimed, with forced cheerfulness. ‘The show’s in ten minutes – go and put on your slap, there’s a good girl.’
    ‘Who is she ?’ Bedelia demanded, as if he hadn’t spoken. She was glaring at Birdie, who glared right back.
    ‘I’ll tell you who I am,’ Birdie retorted, folding her arms. ‘I’m Birdie McAdam. And you ain’t. Why, you’re nothing more than a cheap, false, parrot-voiced impersonator! And if you don’t leave off what you’re doing, I’ll snatch you bald-headed – that’s if you ain’t already bald, under that sorry excuse of a wig!’

7

THE PENNY GAFF
    Bedelia turned to Mr Lubbock. ‘What does she mean, I ain’t Birdie McAdam?’ the girl cried. ‘You can’t do this! I were engaged for the entire London run!’
    ‘Now, Bedelia . . .’
    ‘Don’t you “Bedelia” me, Josiah Lubbock!’ She rounded on Birdie again. ‘Who do you work for, then? Pottle? Bland? What shows have you done?’
    Jem began to laugh. He