A White Room by Stephanie Carroll Read Free Book Online Page A

I stopped.
    “Yes?”
    “I—um, forgive me. I don’t think I—” If I had to go down in that basement alone in the dark, I would die of fright.
    “What?” he asked.
    “I haven’t been down to the kitchen yet. I’m afraid I’ll…trip.”
    He pointed behind me. “Just lower the dishes in the dumbwaiter. Get them tomorrow.”
    My eyes followed the direction of his finger to the shaft built into the wall with a pulley mechanism for transporting items to and from the basement. “Oh, thank you.”
    He left without responding.
    While I placed dishes and other items in the dumbwaiter, I wondered what we would do after this. We were both tired from our journey. Nerves crept around my belly when I thought of sleeping in the same bed with him. I had never been in a bed with a man. I picked up my glass of water from the dining room table, took a sip, and put it back down. I stood there for a moment, not moving. I didn’t swallow the water, just held it in my mouth. I was afraid. I felt uncomfortable about sitting next to John, let alone sleeping in the same bed with him, being naked with him. I was scared, but a little excited, too. No matter what, I was going to be a good wife. I couldn’t be what I wanted to be in life, but this was the dream—women wanted to get married, not work until they found a man. I—we were going to be happy. I swallowed and nodded to myself.
    I used the pulley to lower the dumbwaiter down the shaft to the kitchen. When I heard the thump at the bottom, I felt unnerved, as if the noise had disturbed something down there. I would have to go down there the next morning. What if there were no windows and the place was dark as night all the time? I shuddered. I tried to cast out the thought, but when I faced the table and the empty dining room, a sense of misery crept up the shaft from the basement and out like smoke to envelop me. I froze but soon forced myself to edge my way to the door.
    I peered down the hall and spotted a glow from the study. I took the dining room oil lamp, grasping the handle shaped like a strange woman with insect-like wings stretched out below the bone-colored glass cover. I exited the room into the dark hallway, the basement entrance just behind me. I felt as if whatever I’d awakened in the basement might reach out and try to snatch me as I slunk past it. I threw myself into the library and exhaled, having reached safety. John popped his head up and acknowledged my entrance with a puzzled expression and then returned to shuffling through some papers in a leather briefcase. When he found a particular document, he pulled it out and placed it on the desk.
    I controlled my breathing. “Shall we retire for the evening?”
    He lifted his eyes, papers in both hands. “Uh—I’ve only gotten started.”
    “Oh, of course.”
    He shuffled through more and then started organizing them into two piles.
    “But you must be exhausted.”
    He kept his eyes on the papers. “Uh—yes, I am, but I have to be prepared.” A cigarette burned in the ashtray. He picked it up and took a long, hard draw.
    “What better way to prepare than to be fully rested?”
    He exhaled a stream of smoke. “But I also need to be prepared.”
    I started to feel as if I were intruding. “Very well.” I lingered a moment. “Um—can I help?”
    “No.” He sounded irritated. “You can manage on your own, can’t you?”
    “Of course.” I noticed I was fidgeting with my wedding ring. I immediately stopped and clenched my hand tightly. Unaware of another option, I reentered the dark hallway. The lamp’s glow illuminated the area around me and the first step of the twisting stairwell. I stopped just before the stairs. I scrutinized the hole leading into the basement. I took a deep breath and decided to hurry. As long as I could make it to our chamber and shut the door quickly, I could escape this frightening sensation—this feeling that my presence had disturbed something here.
    I stepped forward