After Midnight: (A Penguin Special from Signet Eclipse) (Killer Instincts) by Elle Kennedy Read Free Book Online Page A

her. She suddenly felt self-conscious and vulnerable wearing nothing but a towel, and her vocal cords couldn’t seem to formulate the right words. She walked over to her bag and fumbled for some clothes, then dressed quickly while her husband’s gaze bore a hole into her back.
    “Talk to me, sweetheart,” he said sternly. “Tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours.”
    She buttoned up her black jeans and turned with a miserable look. “I’m not sure I can do this.”
    Kane went silent. A flicker of disbelief entered his eyes, and then he spoke in a calm, even voice. “When we got married, you said you were open to the idea of having kids.”
    “Yes, in the
future
. The very distant future.” She fought to speak past the massive lump in her throat. “I don’t know if I’m ready for it now. The thought of having a baby is . . . overwhelming. We didn’t
plan
this.”
    “I imagine it’s overwhelming whether you plan it or not.” His wry expression gave way to disappointment. “You’re really not the slightest bit excited? Because I am. I’m thirty-three, babe. I’m kinda ready to be a dad. God knows my parents ask me about it every time I talk to them.”
    “I’m not having a child because your parents expect it of us!” she burst out.
    “No, you’re having one because you’re pregnant,” he shot back. “You may not be ready for it, but it’s happening. We’re already in this.”
    “We don’t have to be.” The words popped out before she could stop them.
    It was like a thundercloud had formed over Kane’s head. His breath sucked in sharply, hands curling into fists at his sides. “Are you kidding me?”
    “It’s an option,” she said quietly.
    Now he staggered back as if she’d slapped him. “And to hell with what I want, right?” His bitterness hung in the air like a thick canopy. “Your body, your choice. I get it. My input means nothing, huh?”
    “That’s not true,” she protested. “Your input matters. It does, Kane.”
    “Yeah, it sure feels like it.” He stalked over to the bed and grabbed the shoulder holster he’d left there, his body language stiff and unresponsive.
    She wanted to go to him, but he looked so hurt and so angry that she didn’t dare.
    “Kane . . .” Her tone was timid. “We’re mercenaries. How can we expect to be good parents?” She paused as the truth dawned. “No, that’s not true.
You’d
be a good father, no matter what your line of work is. But me? You know how hard it is for me to open up to people. To
love
people. What if . . .” An awful thought crawled into her head, and she forced herself to voice it. “What if I don’t feel anything for our child? What if I can’t give it the kind of love and comfort it deserves?”
    His breath hitched again. He glanced over with torment swimming in his eyes. “Three years of marriage, and you still doubt your ability to love.”
    Abby watched helplessly as he armed himself. Strapped on the holster, snapped a knife sheath on his belt, checked the magazines of his pistols before sliding them into place. The entire time, he didn’t say a word. Didn’t even look her way.
    “You said my input mattered.” He kept his back to her as he finally spoke in a gruff voice.
    “It does,” she whispered.
    “Fine, then here it is.” He spun around, green eyes hard with resolve. “I want this baby. I understand that our work is dangerous, and if having this kid means we have to leave the team, then so be it. And maybe it won’t be so bad, returning to civilian life. We could buy a house in the suburbs somewhere. Maybe move to Michigan so we could be near my folks. Our kid would have his grandparents living nearby—think about how great that would be.”
    Kane sat at the edge of the bed, his gaze never leaving hers. “We could make this work, Abby. We can give our child a good life.”
    A pang of doubt tugged at her. “You really think so?”
    “I
know
so.” Aggravation floated