Aftersight by Brian Mercer Read Free Book Online

into the hall. I didn't need to peek inside to know what was going on: Dad and his girlfriend were getting stoned.
    Girl friend was the optimal word, for Tammy was more girl than woman, closer to my age than my mom's. Tammy liked Dad because he supplied her with free drugs and he liked her because Tammy supplied him with something else.
    Derrick pawed through the stack of mail near the front door, piles of first and second missed-payment notices. He held up the six-by-nine-inch envelope like it was a trophy. Before he could say anything, I grasped his arm and tugged him down the hall to my room, closed and locked the door.
    "Check it out, Dipper." He fanned it in front of me.
    "Give me that." I read the return address. Department of State. My passport. At long last.
    "You know what this means?" he said, poking me with a long, boney finger. "We can leave anytime we want."
    "Not so fast." I slapped his hands away when he tried to give my breast a celebratory squeeze. "We'll go when I say we go."
    "You're always changing the rules. Before you said we could go when school let out. Then you said the end of the summer. And now it's next year! "
    "You know what a pain in the butt it's been going to school through all this mess? In January I'll have enough credits to graduate and enough money so we'll have something to fall back on if your cousin flakes on us."
    Did we really have until January? Maybe not. Not at the rate the bills around here were going unpaid. The last remnants of my old life could implode at any moment. But after the warning Nicole had given me that morning, I wasn't taking any chances. I wanted to get away so badly but I couldn't screw up the timing. I recognized the thin line between success and homelessness and didn't think I would get a second chance at this. It had to go just right.
    Derrick pushed a dark thatch of hair out of his eyes and adjusted the dimmer switch until the bedside lamp was only a faint glow. "Let's hit the sack, Dipper. If you're not going to let us sleep at my place anymore, the least you can do is let me move some of my stuff in. A toothbrush , at least."
    I pushed piles of discarded clothes onto the floor so I could sit next to him on the bed. "I can't wait 'til it's just us. Not my loser dad. Not your pervy roommates."
    "Freedom's on the horizon. Just hold on a little longer." He put his arms around me and kissed me, softly at first, gently biting the loop of my lip ring and tugging it playfully. I shed my pink sweatshirt while he undressed and climbed into bed.
    I could still see the remnants of my cry that morning in the mirror above my bureau, despite attempts to repair the damage with makeup. The cluster of small moles that started near my right eye and trailed onto my temple were clearly visible, even in the dark. One of the many things my little brother Chris used to tease me about.
    Could he really see and hear me from wherever he was? What did he think of the person I'd become since that day he'd left us, now over a year ago?
    I laid next to Derrick and closed my eyes. The image of Nicole appeared beneath my closed eyelids, looking vivid and clean and lovely. What a contrast her house was compared to mine, so much beauty opposite all this squalor. Yet I didn't envy her. She seemed as much a prisoner as I was, a princess shut up in a palace, but a prisoner still. I felt the sudden, profound urge to rescue her, to leave Derrick and run away with Nicole instead.
    How long had it been since I'd had a female friend? Since the sixth grade, my best friend had always been the guy I was seeing. Since then I'd gone from one relationship to the next, like someone jumping from stone to stone to find their way across a river. Boys are so much less complicated than girls.
    Derrick, who had pulled two back-to-back shifts at work, was out as soon as his head touched the pillow. I could tell by the way his breathing changed, even before the scuttling snore. I stared up at the ceiling that I'd