Against God by Patrick Senécal Read Free Book Online Page B

swallows her food before
    - Because you know we can help each other . . .
    answering, your face twitches in annoyance, you race through the meal, you say
     that’s not it at all, you’re only here because you want to sleep with her, I
     know you’re just trying to provoke her, shock her, but her lips stretch into a
     sad smile, her fork twisting the spaghetti, a couple of bites, not a hint of
     irony or
    - You don’t wanna go back to your store, you don’t wanna go back home . . . Just
     erase it all, is that it? Youdon’t want a single tie left to
     your old life . . . You think that’s the answer?
    accusation in her voice, so you ask her point blank if she’s done this often,
     hung around bars to pick up poor wretches in the hope of helping them, this time
     your words seem to affect her, this time she looks down, says no, it’s just that
     she, too, is suffering, she reminds you that you yourself could tell as much
     last night, she has experienced great misfortune and it has opened her eyes to
     all kinds of things, to people, all of a sudden you start to panic, you
     interrupt her, you raise your hand, you warn her that you don’t want to know
     what happened to her, other people’s misfortunes don’t interest you, you haven’t
     asked her for a single thing, but Mélanie isn’t offended, she nods,
     understanding, she clarifies, choosing her words
    - Me either, I don’t want to hear your story, but one thing’s for sure,
     misfortune brings us together, we can help each other. I’ve already started to
     help myself. You know what I did today?
    carefully, but you jump to your feet, remind her that you’re not interested,
     thank her brusquely for supper, head for the door, then it’s Mélanie’s turn to
     get up, a tad concerned, she wants to know what your plans are for the evening,
     you say you’re going to a bar, she wrings her hands, suddenly timid, she asks if
     she can go along, you look undecided, say you don’t know, that you want to find
     someone to fuck, her or someone else, more provocation, you detect pity in her
     eyes, she says she understands, she understands your attitude,she understands that you’re still angry, but you shake your head with a
     sardonic grimace, tell her it’s not anger, tell her it’s worse, silence, she
     says again that she has no desire to sleep with you but she wants to be with
     you, you tell her you’re leaving right now, she pulls on her coat, the two of
     you step outside, it’s really cold out now, you walk toward Le Losange but
     Mélanie doesn’t want to go there, she’d rather be someplace where no one knows
     her, Mélanie would rather remain anonymous, you shrug, indifferent, you tell her
     you don’t have a car anymore, she doesn’t ask any questions and offers to take
     hers, you climb into her little green Honda Civic, you stare outside in silence,
     the other cars, the shop windows, but above all the people, your eyes follow
     them for a long time, you want to go to a nightclub, Mélanie doesn’t much feel
     like dancing, you point out curtly that she shouldn’t bother following you then,
     end of story, she stays quiet for a moment, says she knows a club that’s popular
     with people other than teens, fifteen minutes, stop, then into the dark
     establishment, blaring rock music, not many people yet, a deserted dance floor,
     head for the bar, you order a beer without asking Mélanie what she would like,
     she orders the same, a few sips in silence, the bass makes the floor vibrate,
     the other patrons are in their thirties or late twenties, thirty minutes,
     already four beers downed, you start feeling drunk, a 90s hit sweeps through the
     room, you want to dance then, you practically order Mélanie to follow you, she
     complies showing neither pleasure or displeasure, you both end up on the dance
     floor, andyou shimmy, and you shake, and you play air guitar,
     Mélanie’s dancing is more restrained, she watches you with a sad