love her like a sister. I’ve learned how to deal with her directness, and lack of filter. I know she means well and she’s completely harmless. I also know she’s freaking out at the moment and it’s just become my job to try to relieve her.
I place my hands on her shoulders and look into her eyes. It’s like looking at a deer in headlights. I’ve seen this look countless times before in the years I’ve known her and I can’t help but give in to her pleas. I cut her off mid-thought, “Piper, calm down. I’m in, whatever you need, I’m in. But, I have to work tomorrow after school. I’ll come over to your house afterward and you can fill me in, okay? Just promise me you’ll defend my honor and won’t sign me up for all of the crap that nobody else wants to do, alright?”
She grips me in a bear hug around the waist. For a small girl, she’s incredibly strong. It must be all of the adrenaline constantly coursing through her not quite 5’ frame. “Thanks Mom! Always count on you.”
“I’m at your service,” I say with an exaggerated frown on my face. “And you know how that scares me.” I can’t hide the sarcasm or the smile any longer.
“Ha. Ha.” I love that she gets my sense of humor. Piper understands that sarcasm is an art that begs to be practiced and is as much about tone as the words chosen. She’s mastered it. It’s the glue that binds us.
Her eyes fall on Dimitri who’s still standing behind me. His hand has moved to my waist. I’m frozen. I know I’m not going to escape humiliation—I see it in her eyes. It’s coming. I hold my breath and brace myself for it, because it’s like an actual physical force.
Five, four, three, two …
“Veronica! Holy shit! New guy! New hot guy!” She shakes her head. “No. Not hot. Sex personified. Jesus Christ, he’s effing delicious!” She looks him up and down as she speaks, smiling in approval.
And there it is, just as I expected. But I can’t help smiling because: (a) She threw in a full-fledged sentence, and (b) I love that on a daily basis she talks like a sailor and says things most people would be mortified to say aloud, but that she flat-out refuses to say the f-word because she says “it’s not ladylike.”
She does have a point. Though effective, the f-word is not particularly ladylike.
“This is Dimitri, Piper. Dimitri, this is Piper.” I lean forward and offer in a very loud whisper, “Just a reminder that you are speaking aloud, my friend. That coupled with the fact that Dimitri is indeed not deaf, means he can hear you. Might want to hold back on the aggressively forward comments upon first introduction, that’s merely a suggestion though—not a steadfast rule. In the end it’s up to you, Pied Piper.”
Dimitri smiles and politely nods an acknowledgement, “It’s nice to meet you, Piper.”
“Indeed. V
ery
nice. Son. Of. A. Bitch. Dimitri.
Sexy
name.” There’s no attempt to hide the giddy emotion in her voice. She stares at him a moment longer and then looks back at me still smiling like she’s been hypnotized. “YOLO.”
God, no one makes me laugh like Piper.
Still smiling, she says, “Tomorrow night.”
I nod and salute. “Tomorrow night.”
Quickly she turns and runs down the hall. No doubt to corner her next victim/volunteer.
“A touch of Tourette’s syndrome?” he asks curiously.
And because he asked in a kind, inquisitive tone that lacked condescension or a hint of meanness I answer, “I don’t think that one’s on Miss Piper’s resume.”
“That was very nice of you. You can’t resist, can you?” As is his habit, he’s whispering in my ear again. And right on cue the butterflies in my stomach return.
I fumble with the books in my locker, trying to distract myself. “Can’t resist? What do you mean?”
“Helping people,” he says thoughtfully. “You’re a sucker, altruistically-speaking. You can’t resist.” The words he chose, spoken in a different tone, could’ve been
Salomé Mitiarjuk Nappaaluk