Almost Lost by Beatrice Sparks Read Free Book Online Page B

all right simile.”
    â€œMaybe if I think of dumping all my past roadkill as a mental enema, it will help me do it better and quicker and cleaner.”
    â€œAnything that works for you, use.”
    â€œIt’s a pretty picturesque and gruesome thought, though, isn’t it?”
    â€œNot one I think you’d soon forget.”
    â€œI can’t wait to get the maggot-infested yuck and stink of it out of my being forever.”
    â€œSo you want to go on?”
    â€œI guess it’s the only way. Well…I was talking about the flashback action and power and respect feelings. I’m sure they’re all bogus now. It’s like there are two sides to life. The good and happy and healthy bright light side and the dark, dreary, depressed, drag-you-down-into-the-depths-of-hell side.” Sammy sat silently for a long time, contemplating what he had said, then he started speaking in a strange, almost-frightening, little boy voice. “Do you suppose that could possibly be true, all that good and bad stuff they used to teach me about in Sunday school? All that stuff about being on God’s side or Satan’s side? Are there any studies or proof of that?”
    â€œI’m not sure about tangible proof, but there are billions of people in the world who believe in both good and bad powers. The Supreme Good Power is called by many different names in many different languages: God, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, etcetera, just as the evil power is given different names in different cultures. It is also interesting that most major religions of the world have some form of the ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ Golden Rule concept.”
    â€œPeople don’t seem to be doing very well at living that concept, though, do they?”
    â€œNo, but maybe that’s because so many of us haven’t had the ‘Let It Begin with Me’ mind-set.”
    â€œI sure haven’t.”
    â€œBut can any of us change our mind-set if we want to?”
    â€œYeah, I guess so. But like you’ve said, only I can change me and my attitude and actions.”
    â€œYou’re really coming along, smart Sammy. I’m very proud of you and very happy for your positive, progressive thinking.”
    â€œI’m proud of…and happy for myself! Do you think maybe it would help me to get my life back in order and under control if I started going back to my old church?”
    â€œThat is a serious and deep decision that you must make for yourself.”
    â€œI wonder if God would want me in His church if he knew what an unbelievable person I’ve been…what unforgivable things I’ve done.”
    â€œWhat does the God you believe in say about forgiveness?”
    â€œI think the Bible has lots of stuff in it about forgiveness.”
    â€œThe Talmud, the Koran, and most other scriptures do also. We’ve talked about this before. Maybe it’s time for you to do some deep reflective thinking about your relationship to God as well as to all humanity. You know there is an old, old, old song that goes, ‘I want to be happy, but I can’t be happy till I make you happy too’ that is a lot truer than most people want to believe.”
    â€œI think I believe that’s true. In fact I know it is. I guess that most of us are just so busy trying to make ourselves feel good that we don’t actually give a damn about how anyone else thinks or feels. That’s sad isn’t it, and selfish?”
    â€œAgain you’re right on the button, Super Sam. You know, some people take years to gain the understanding you have. In fact, many people never gain it.”
    â€œI’m just sorry I’ve blown so much of my life and have hurt so many people.”
    Tears started rolling down Sammy’s face and onto the front of his T-shirt. He seemed completely unaware of them for a long time.
    â€œSam, did you know that your tears, at different