Amber Brown Is Feeling Blue by Paula Danziger Read Free Book Online Page A

“It’s a school night.”
    “Mom,” I beg.
    My mom looks at him and then at me. “We have some leftovers from dinner. I suppose that while we’re talking, I can feed you.”
    “It’ll be like old times.” My dad smiles a funny smile.
    “Let’s hope not.” My mom lifts an eyebrow.
    As we walk into the kitchen, my dad and I hold hands.
    I hope that Mom doesn’t mind that I’m holding hands with Dad and not with her.
    It’s so weird.
    We’re all in the house together.
    I wish it was like old times, the old times that were good.
    At least that way I wouldn’t still have to make this awful decision.
    But I don’t think that’s going to happen….

Chapter
Thirteen

    A decision is a decision is a decision.
    And I, Amber Brown, have made my decision.
    It is the second-hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life.
    The first-hardest is the thing that I have to do next.
    That will be telling my parents what my decision is.
    I, Amber Brown, wish that I could just write that decision on a piece of paper, leave the room while they read it, and then when I come back in, have everything be OK. Iwish that no one’s feelings would get hurt. But it’s not going to work that way.
    I must make the announcement.

    I’m only nine years old, in the fourth grade.
    Why do I have to do this?
    I know the answer to that. I have to make the choice because I have no choice.
    Sometimes life is confusing.
    Sometimes it’s not easy.
    This is one of those times when it’s both … confusing and not easy.
    The only thing that came close to being this hard was having to say good-bye to my best friend, Justin, when he moved to Alabama.
    This is a bazillion times harder than Justin’s good-bye, and that was absolutely, totally, and terribly awful.
    “Mom, Dad,” I say, “I, Amber Brown, am spending Thanksgiving with Dad.”
    My dad claps his hands.
    My mom looks like she’s going to cry.
    They both look at me, and then they look at each other.
    My dad’s smiling, but he’s not gloating, like “Ha-ha. I won.”
    He quietly says, “Sarah, Amber will stay with you Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.”
    My mom looks at him. “That’s what WE decided, that whomever Amber didn’t getto be with at Thanksgiving, she would be with at Christmas.”
    I almost ask if they’ve worked out who I will be with on Groundhog Day, but I don’t.
    Mom looks very sad, but not very mad, which was what I was afraid would happen.
    I figure that I have to say something. “It’s not that I love one of you more than the other … but, Mom, you and Max have each other. Dad has no one. He’s just moved back.”
    She knows that’s true, that he’s got a few friends left over from when he used to live here, but all of them are busy with their own families on Thanksgiving.
    I am my dad’s own family.
    So I am staying with him.
    “I can pick Amber up at school on Tuesday, and then we can go directly into the city,” my father says.
    “You can pick her up here,” Mom says.“I will feel much better knowing that she’s with you …. not waiting at the school because you got delayed at a business meeting or something.”
    My dad looks angry, but he bites his lip.
    “Philip, you would do the same if you were me. I would worry….. Amber is the most important thing in my life.”
    “Mine, too,” my dad says.
    I feel wonderful that they both are saying that.

    I have something to say, though. “Hey ….. I’m not a thing. I’m a person.”
    “We know that, honey,” my mom says.
    I can see that there are tears in her eyes, tears that are close to rolling down her face.
    This is definitely not fair.
    I, Amber Brown, feel bad, though.
    In fact, I feel really bad.
    I want to go to Walla Walla with Mom and Max.
    And I want to go to New York City with my dad.
    And I want my parents to get back together.
    And I want Mom and Max always to be friends and do things together.
    I want to make choices and not feel guilty.
    I want to not have to make