Amber Frost by Suzi Davis Read Free Book Online Page A

charming in his own quirky way. I automatically felt the need to apologize.
    “Sorry, I should have –”
    “No – don’t,” he cut me off. “Don’t be sorry. Say what you feel, what you think. That’s what I was asking you to do.” I nodded, slowly processing his words. I reconsidered my earlier answer while he waited patiently, watching me with his strangely knowing eyes.
    “I know I should be happy with my life; there are so many reasons I should be happy,” I began, speaking almost to myself. “I try so hard to remember to be grateful but lately, I’ve been wondering… why do I have to try so hard? What’s wrong with me?”
    “Your way of thinking,” Sebastian quickly answered. I had been speaking rhetorically and hadn’t expected an answer. I frowned at him, a flicker of my previous irritation returning.
    “Excuse me?”
    “That’s what’s wrong with you. You see things the way you think they should be and not as they really are – it’s all wrong. You spend so much time trying to please others but never do anything to please yourself,” he pronounced. His eyes were a somber, dark gray and glowed with a wisdom that seemed to stretch far beyond his years.
    “It makes me happy to please other people,” I argued but I could hear the doubt in my voice. He shook his head before I’d even finished my sentence.
    “It pleases you to make other people happy. It doesn’t make you happy. Only you can do that and right now you’re choosing not to.” My head spun as I tried to follow his twisted reasoning. “Or perhaps you’re starting to make some choices for yourself, like joining me today, for example. Perhaps I was wrong in my other statement also; maybe someone else could help you make yourself happy, if they really wanted to…” he mused. His eyes drifted to the window to stare out at the gloomy day. I could tell his thoughts had taken him far away. He was such a strange boy but so very interesting, so completely intriguing and compelling. I didn’t want him to stop speaking; I desperately wanted to hear more of his thoughts.
    “Someone else?” I prompted. He turned back to me slowly. “Do you think you could make me happy?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. I was surprised when he didn’t smile back; boys always responded to my flirting. Instead, he just looked wary.
    “I told you, only you can choose to be happy. And besides,” he hesitated, turning away from me again. His hands tightened on his desk. “I choose to be a nobody and nobodys don’t have friends.” He looked so sad and lonely as he spoke. No matter what he said, it was still part of me to please people and the urge was even stronger with Sebastian, probably because I was starting to actually like him. And suddenly I didn’t care that he was so very different, so obviously not ‘my type’ of person. All that mattered in that moment was that he was hurting and I didn’t want him to.
    “I’ll be your friend,” I told him softly. The words felt silly coming out of my mouth, as if I were five years old and offering to play with another lonely child. “It would make me happy, if we were friends,” I rephrased. The words rang with sincerity as I spoke them, surprising me as I had meant only to comfort him. Was I so disconnected with my true self that I didn’t even know what made me happy anymore? What I wanted?
    His hands unclenched as he looked back to my face. Something he saw there softened his expression; his eyes warmed, then glowed. A slow smile lit up his features as he stared back at me wonderingly.
    “It would make me happy too,” he replied, sounding a little surprised. “But I’m not sure if we can be friends.” He frowned, as if trying to remember something. My heart sunk in disappointment as reality came crashing back in. I was Grace Lynn Stevenson and I had a reputation to keep up, a role to play. Of course we could never be friends.
    “Yes, of course you’re right. I… forgot,” I