Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy by Donald B. Kraybill, Steven M. Nolt, David L. Weaver-Zercher Read Free Book Online Page B

of our daughter. . . . There are many other things to be thankful for, and even in our sorrow, we are counting our blessings. And we thank the whole nation for prayer support.”
     
    Some Amish people acknowledged that they might have underestimated the potential goodness of outsiders. In a letter to the editor of the Philadelphia Inquirer, an Amish father admitted, “Our perceptions of ‘worldly’ and ‘outsiders’ have been challenged and changed. It has been reaffirmed to us that there is much good in the rest of the world.” He continued his letter by noting, “It is reassuring that in spite of our different identities we can still reach out to each other as human brothers and sisters with the same hopes, fears, desires, and feelings in difficult times.”
     
    To be sure, Amish writers continued to emphasize the primary importance of their own church community. “We are thankful to have such a sharing community and church, where there is Christian fellowship under an Almighty and loving, caring Savior and God,” wrote the editor of one Amish newspaper. Indeed, the Amish families most directly affected by the shooting relied on their fellow church members as their chief source of support and, compared to what many grief-stricken people experience, they received extraordinary care. Unlike the English, who donated playground equipment, teddy bears, and money, the Amish caregivers offered more modest gifts: meals, quiet words of condolence, and often just the gift of presence. On October 3 and 4, hundreds of family members and friends streamed into the homes of the bereaved parents. Drawing on the bonds of kinship, these visitors responded to the parents’ unimaginable grief with heartfelt gestures of support.
     

    Despite the tragic circumstances, the viewings conformed to typical Amish practice. After a death in the Amish community, an English mortician takes the body to a funeral home, embalms it, and then promptly returns it to the home, where family members dress the body in preparation for burial. Young girls are usually dressed in white and wear a white head covering as they lie in a simple wooden coffin. In keeping with the Amish tradition of being candid about death, the girls’ coffins were open, a reminder to those filing by of the schoolhouse horror only a few days past.
     
    At word of a death, members of the local church district assume the chores for the grieving family, freeing them to meet with the hundreds of friends and relatives who visit in the days before the funeral. Mary, a young mother, explained, “Often at a viewing many people just shake hands but don’t say anything. I often say, ‘We will think about you a lot.’ I don’t say, ‘I’m praying for you,’ because that would sound too proud.” A minister agreed: “When you visit parents during these viewings, it’s just your presence. Just be there a few moments and then leave. Just a few moments of silence.”
     
    In the Lancaster Amish settlement, viewings are open to anyone, but funerals are typically for invited guests only. A friend or relative, on behalf of the bereaved family, issues invitations to the funeral by word of mouth. To accommodate the large number of people in attendance—often three hundred or more—the funeral service is usually conducted in a barn or large shop. A small, private service is held first in the home, followed by the large, formal funeral.
     
    The funerals for the five girls took place three and four days after the shooting. Three of the funerals—for Naomi Rose, Marian, and the two sisters, Mary Liz and Lena—were held on Thursday, October 5. The funeral for Anna Mae was held on Friday, October 6. Like other Amish worship services, funeral services are usually conducted in Pennsylvania German. However, as a courtesy to English friends, visitors from Chicago, and police officers in attendance, one of the services included both German and English.
     
    Along with sermons emphasizing the