An Ideal Wife by Sanjay Grover Read Free Book Online

sides. All other vayumobiles were barred from entering this special path so I could reach my destination quickly.
    Flying full speed for about five minutes through hundreds of skyscrapers, I reached my destination, a wide glass structure in the middle of a small lake within the main city. I alighted from my vayumobile and stepped onto a conveyor belt, which took me inside the structure. LED screens installed on both sides of the conveyor showed my vital statistics (heart rate, blood pressure, etc.). They were jumping erratically like a crazy rubber ball.
    The conveyor belt took me straight into a big hall, just like a big conference hall in any corporation. It had a big rectangular but invisible table made up of special glass. Bhagwaan Dada was sitting on a chair at one end of the table in the centre whereas the other gods were sitting on chairs placed on either side of him on the long table. Many God Aspirants were standing behind their favourite gods.
    I went ahead and took the empty chair on the long table right opposite Bhagwaan Dada. He looked quite angry.
    ‘Where were you?’ His heavy voice created a chill in the room.
    I didn’t reply and kept my eyes glued to the floor.
    ‘Did you hear what I just asked?’ his voice became even heavier.
    ‘Jee jee ……,’ I stuttered.
    ‘What is this jee jee? Answer him; where were you?’ another god questioned.
    ‘I had gone to Mrityulok,’ the barely audible softness in my voice was enough to tell anyone that I was shit scared.
    ‘For what?’
    ‘To meet my biggest follower,’ I explained.
    ‘And what did you do there?’ Bombardment from another quarter continued.
    I remained silent, still staring at the floor.
    ‘ Tumne suna nahin humne kya puchha?’ Bhagwaan Dada intervened like Gabbar Singh in Sholay.
    ‘I met him and…’ I was so scared that I couldn’t complete my sentence.
    ‘And what?’ This one came from another angry god.
    I remained silent.
    ‘How can he even dare speak a word now? He only likes to showoff!’
    ‘What do you mean?’ Bhagwaan Dada asked.
    ‘You have given him such liberties. You made your driver a god despite our protests and now within a day of him becoming a god he has done something to shame us all,’ another god explained.
    ‘Will you guys stop this nonsense and just say what exactly happened in Mrityulok?’ Bhagwaan Dada finally lost his patience.
    ‘Please look at the projector screen.’
    Everyone turned towards the big digital projector screen. A film started running, showing what exactly had transpired between Sameer and me in Mrityulok.
    With each passing minute everyone started getting angry. Bhagwaan Dada completely lost his cool, seeing how I was enjoying coffee and that too from a mug with a sexy woman image on it.
    The moment the film finished, all heads turned towards me. I really crapped in my pants then.
    ‘So you want a franchise of Costa Coffee?’ Bhagwaan Dada roared.
    I had no choice but to stay quiet.
    ‘I think we should open a Costa Coffee chain here and he should be made the manager,’ a God aspirant (who lost out narrowly to me) poked his nose.
    ‘I was just joking with him,’ I tried to handle the situation.
    ‘Oh my, oh my, oh my! How could you ever do something so crass!’ another god added. There was a decidedly feminine flick of his hand as he said this, and I couldn’t help but smirk at that.
    ‘I haven’t done anything wrong. I have just promised him an ideal wife,’ I clarified, not quite understanding their beef with me; and to top that I had to keep a straight face at the rather effeminate prude.
    ‘That’s exactly what we’ve been trying to unearth for centuries! We haven’t found ideal wife material even for ourselves yet and you acted like a Danveer Karna and went ahead to promise one to a mere mortal!’
    On hearing this everyone present in the conference room started laughing. At that moment, Chitti, carrying his laptop, entered.
    ‘Did you find any match for his