An Impossible Dilemma: A Psychological Thriller Novel by Netta Newbound Read Free Book Online Page B

nodded again and allowed myself to be turned back towards the house. My mind raced, causing massive confusion. I couldn't concentrate on any one thing, unable to think why I felt so devastated.
    Back in the house Stephanie yelled something to Frank and shoved me towards him, before bolting from the house.
    In his odd, shuffling way, Frank got me to the sofa and sat down next to me. He pulled me close to him with his good arm.
    Emily came into the room. She'd been having a lie down in the snug and came to investigate what all the commotion was about. She sat at the other side of me.
    "Are you okay, Mummy?" she whispered.
    "I think we should leave her alone, Em. She's not feeling too well." Frank said.
    "Shall I get her a blanket?"
    "Not right now—why don't you go back into the snug and I'll come to see you shortly," Frank said.
    "I don't want to. I want to stay with Mummy.”
    "Please, Em. Do it for me and stay there until someone comes for you."
    "But why?"
    "Do it, please."
    I watched and listened to the whole exchange as though a spectator to a stage show. Once Emily had left, Frank got up and shuffled to the window.
    "I wonder what's happening out there. Do you have any idea, lass?"
    I shook my head and lay down on the empty seat Frank had vacated.
    "Who called, Victoria? Before you went outside—who called on the phone?"
    I looked at him slowly. I couldn't remember who called. I closed my eyes.
    I needed to shut out his questions. They made my head hurt.
    I needed to shut out the sound of the sirens.
    I needed to shut out the world. Just for a minute or two.
     
    ***
     
    The next thing I knew, Stephanie was on the sofa beside me, stroking my hair.
    A memory, just beyond my grasp, kept coming close and then scurrying away before I could pin it down.
    Stephanie was crying.
    I sat up slowly. Frank was now perched on the edge of the armchair opposite.
    "What happened?" I said, fine hair was standing on end all over my body.
    She stared at me, a deep furrow between her eyebrows, before turning to face Frank. “There's been an accident. The digger rolled, trapping Jon underneath.”
    "Is he in the hospital?" I made to get up, but she placed her hand on my arm.
    "No—Vic—I don't know how to tell you thi s… " She took a deep breath. "Jonathan's dead."
     

 
     
    Chapter 7
    How could this be? She must be joking. I waited for her to laugh. For Jonathan to walk in with a cheeky grin on his face saying, "Gotcha!"
    I glanced at Frank. He was smiling. Oh, no—not smiling. His face had twisted into something far from a smile. I turned back to Steph. Tears continued down her cheeks and dropped off the end of her chin.
    "Oh my God! This can't be true—he didn't say goodbye." The deep pain between my ribs seemed to push all the air out of me. I began to think I'd never breathe again. My lungs felt as though they were turning inside out. I eventually sucked in enough air to enable the cycle to happen all over again.
    This couldn't be. I needed him more than ever right now. He couldn't be dead. I was no stranger to this limbo-like disbelief, being somewhat experienced with death. First, my Mum. I didn’t think I’d recover from the shock of her death. At only eleven years old, I’d needed her more than ever before.
    The death of my dad didn’t hit me as hard. Of course, I was devastated, but being older and no longer living at home helped. My everyday stuff had been easier to deal with. Nobody knew my dad except Steph, and I’d sworn her to secrecy. So I was spared their sympathy and pitiful glances. I had managed to forget about it until I got back to my room each night, where I acknowledged the truth and grieved alone. The reality didn’t hit me until three months later when I eventually returned home.
    Now Jonathan. My sweet, caring and considerate husband. My soul mate. Best friend. What had I done to make the universe punish me like this? I had a gnawing emptiness where my stomach should be.
    "Emily!" I said, standing