Anubis Nights by Gary Jonas Read Free Book Online Page A

be.”
    “I’m flattered but that’s not my scene.”
    “Your loss,” he said. “Let’s go. Time is growing short.”
    “Don’t say short when you’re looking at my junk.”
    That time he grinned.
    We returned to the main training area of the dojo, and as I walked, I felt myself flopping into view. I tried to adjust the kilt again, which was fine for a few steps; then I was hanging out again. Kelly turned to watch us, and I saw one of her breasts. I tried to look away, but I’m a guy, so it took more effort than it should have. I also felt a stiffening reaction coming on and felt like I was in middle school.
    Brand grinned then tried to look irritated. “You staring at Kelly’s tit?” He cracked up. “Looks nice, doesn’t it?”
    I suspected Brand never made it out of middle school. I tried to cover myself.
    “Yo, Father Time. We need a different plan here.”
    “There isn’t time for that.”
    “I’m going to be too distracted if Kelly is dressed like that.”
    “Grow up, Jonathan,” Sharon said. “It’s just a breast.”
    “Yeah, but I’m a red-blooded American male.”
    “So?”
    “So the average guy thinks about sex once every ten seconds, and I’ve always considered myself to be above average.”
    Kelly walked up to me. “Are you looking at me in a sexual way?”
    “I’m trying not to.”
    She laughed. “You’re blushing. I’ll take that as a compliment.”
    “Can you cover up?” I asked. “Please?”
    “You’re such a guy.” She turned around and walked back to the chairs.
    “Seriously, we need a different plan. I can’t go around with my dick flopping out, and I can’t focus if Kelly is topless.”
    “We can’t adjust the spell on the amulet, so if Kelly is going to look Egyptian, she has to dress the part.”
    “Oh, you have an amulet to make her look different but not one for translation? Wonderful.”
    “We were rushed.”
    “Really? That guy can freeze time, so how can you be rushed?”
    “He can freeze time here but not in the Underworld. And even here it’s a limited thing. We really need to send you back now.”
    “Not like this. I don’t look like an Egyptian, I can’t dress like an Egyptian, and without that Bangles song playing, I can’t even walk like an Egyptian.”
    “You have a better idea?”
    “Yes, I do. I’ll wear trousers and a tunic, and Kelly can wear a Chinese dress. We’ll be traveling dignitaries or something. And we’ll both be a lot more comfortable.”
    “They may execute you on sight.”
    “Then make us materialize in front of them as if we beamed down from the starship Enterprise, and they can think we’re gods. I don’t care but I can’t do this kilt thing.”
    Chronos nodded. “While it was centuries later, Herodotus traveled through Egypt. If they play it correctly, they can manage. Let’s just allow them to choose their own cover.”
    “Very well,” Sharon said.
    “But before you go find clothing that will work, we need to give you shots to protect you from infectious diseases of the time.”
    “Good idea,” I said. I waddled over to him, aiming for modesty.
    Kelly laughed at me, but she kept her breast covered with one hand. Takes one to know one.
    Chronos rummaged through the gym bag Sharon had brought in and found a case with several syringes. “Here we are.”
    As he gave me the injection, he said, “This shot is good for at least ten years. You will be immune to every infectious disease ever known.”
    “Cool.”
    “You may feel a bit ill for a day or so.”
    “Wonderful.”
    While the others got their shots, I went back to the locker room and changed back into my jeans and button-up shirt. When I returned, Kelly was in the ladies’ room.
    I looked at Chronos. “How much time do we have before we have to go back?” I asked.
    Chronos frowned. “To be safe, we should send you now.”
    “Shouldn’t we get different clothes, though? I don’t have a tunic, and Kelly needs a dress. Right?”
    Chronos