Are You Going to Kiss Me Now? by Sloane Tanen Read Free Book Online Page A

satisfaction, he had another thing coming.
    “Mmm, hmmm,” he smirked, “I s’pose you’ve got absolutely no idea who I am, right?” looking at me knowingly and taking out his BlackBerry. So that’s what was in his pocket.
    “I’m sorry,” I said.
    “That’s for sure,” he snapped back.
    Chaz Richards (aka Dicole Richie) is only eighteen and has a celebrity blog that’s all but wiped out the popularity of US , OK! , People , and Life & Style . Maybe not quite, but you get the idea. It’s updated every five minutes with the most current, juiciest, and most banal celebrity gossip. And it’s usually wildly unflattering, which is why it’s so popular. It’s like celebrity bloopers with a running commentary by Howard Stern. You know, Fergie tripping in front of the Waverly Inn, Britney’s bald baby baker, Marcia Cross trying to pass off a wig as her real hair. Great stuff. And, rumor has it, he’s always got the story first, which is why his blog is called Neverbeenscooped.com. I can’t imagine how he gets all his minute-to-minute updates, but I always found following Hollywood in real time to be a terrific homework procrastinating device.
    “Are you coming on the trip?” I asked, confused at how the most hated celebrity blogger could have managed such a thing.
    “Of course I’m coming. You think I’d miss an opportunity to see Milan Amberson sweating in a third world country? I’d sooner cut off a toe. But seeing as you don’t know who I am, I guess you wouldn’t understand how important it is to me.”
    “But how?” I asked, trying to deal with the fact that I was actually having a conversation with Chaz Richards, that I was trying to pretend I didn’t know who he was, and that I was pretty sure he just said Milan Amberson was coming too.
    “Don’t ask stupid questions,” he said. Ouch.
    I tried to think of a non-stupid question when I heard that voice…again. No mistaking that gravelly, masculine tone. There was no way he was coming on this trip. OMG. Talk about A-list. This was nuts. It was Cisco Parker! Cisco Parker is a heartthrob of the variety that transcends both age and gender. He was only eighteen, but my mother, father, and Emily were all fans. He was on a wildly successful TV show on Disney for two years (playing a singing possum), before hitting the big screen, playing everything from Captain Marvel, to a schizophrenic, to Alexander the Great, to a college kid with a crystal meth addiction. I don’t know if he’s a great actor, but he’s great looking, so who cares. When I was twelve, I had posters of him wallpapering my room. OK, I still have one, but it’s inside my closet door.
    Cisco Parker hadn’t done one single interview since he tried to slug David Letterman for calling him ubiquitous. Apparently, he didn’t know what the word meant and thought he was being insulted. Ouch, ouch. Anyway, he’d managed to leave that embarrassing episode behind, along with his Brother Possum/Disney persona. From what I’d read about him over the last few years, he seemed to be modeling his life after Sean Penn, whom he worshipped. No interviews, lots of do-gooding, and much paparazzi beating. He seemed like a pretty cool guy. OK, I can admit it. I still sort of had a crush on him at that point. Everybody did. I mean, gorgeous doesn’t even begin to cover it.
    The camera guys were desperately trying to get a comment out of him, but he seemed to be pushing his way through, just grunting the occasional, “Yeah,” or “No, not today.” Like Joe Baronstein, he was much smaller in person than he looked on film. It was almost like looking at a perfectly crafted, pint-sized copy of the original. One of the guys shouted something about him promising to give a statement, and I saw Cisco put down his bag (yes, he was carrying his own luggage—just like us ) and face the crowd. He gestured with a sweep of his hand for them to back away a bit, which they did, immediately. I found his command