Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of Too Nice by Doreen Virtue Read Free Book Online Page B

because those folks will influence your energy and experiences in life. Yes, you can see the good in everyone, but if a relationship is toxic, it can pull you way down.
    For example, I used to belong to a meditation group in which we took turns leading the meditation and offering a brief teaching each week. The group was harmonious, sweet, uplifting, and supportive. Then one day, a self-proclaimed atheist said he wanted to join our group. Being an openhearted, “we love everyone” type of group, we had a discussion and decided to allow him in. That’s when trouble started, as the man began playing devil’s advocate to everything we said and arguing every point. Our meditation group became unpleasant, and we all stopped meeting within one month of his joining.
    So sometimes, it’s for the greatest good of all concerned if you say no to someone entering your life.

CHAPTER FOUR
    HOW TO BE NICE AND LOVING, WITHOUT BEING A PUSHOVER
    E arth Angels are nice because they’re very sensitive to how energies affect other people. They treat others as they’d wish to be treated, very much living by the Golden Rule.
    Earth Angels see the best in others and expect the best in return. Oh, if only the world really worked that way!
    The three-dimensional physical world contains the ego, and the ego prevails for the majority of people, who aren’t aware of the path of true happiness from living in the higher self.
    Now, this doesn’t mean that Earth Angels need to lower their standards and try to fit into the lowest common denominator of rude or ego-based behavior. But it does require Earth Angels to be aware of ego energy when it shows up.
    If you have been taken advantage of repeatedly for being a nice person, then please pay extra attention to this chapter.
    The ego energy is all about “me” and “I”: What is in it for me? and What can I get out of this?
    That’s why self-centered people are called egocentric or egotistical .
    Therefore, it’s important to take some time when you’re with someone to tune in and be very aware of how your body feels in that person’s presence. Your body is one of the most accurate divination tools on this physical plane. It is a crystal that resonates with energy vibrations.
    So when you meet someone, rather than worrying, Does she like me? Am I good enough? and posing these sorts of self-doubting questions, instead listen to what your body says. Notice:
Do I feel drained of energy when I’m around this person?
Does my stomach tighten with defensiveness, bracing myself against some danger?
Do I feel myself backing away from this person or wanting to leave her presence?
Is there a sense that I’m the only one giving in this relationship?
Does it feel like the other person is all about taking?
Does the other person joke or brag about how much she gets away with or takes advantage of others?
After being with this person, do I feel tired or depressed or anxious?
    So when you encounter a person who’s ego-focused, you’ll feel a draining sensation in your body, because your energy is literally being drained. You’re also being scanned energetically by the egocentric person, who’s assessing what she can take from you.
    What egocentric people want to take from you can vary. They may be looking for simple things such as a listening ear or kind words. Most Earth Angels don’t feel taken advantage of for giving these things, unless it becomes a one-sided relationship where you’re the only one giving the compliments and doing the listening, and the other person never says anything nice to you, nor do they care enough to be your sounding board.
    To find a person who isn’t egocentric, you’ll need to hold the intention of meeting other Earth Angels and givers . . . or those who have been working to develop self-awareness, and who have come to the realization that the path to true happiness is through balancing