Assumed Engagement by Kara Louise Read Free Book Online Page B

competent in teaching me my studies… but," she paused.
    "You wished you were not so reserved?"
    Georgiana nodded.
    Elizabeth quickly thought about how best to approach the subject with this tender girl. "I certainly do not possess all the answers to your dilemma, but let me tell you what I have observed." She took in a deep breath and silently prayed, "Lord, please give me the right words. "
    "I have found, in my observance of people, that being reserved can be for one of two reasons. There are other reasons, of course, but these are the most common. The first is that there is a fear of saying something wrong, a fear of being misunderstood or judged ill by something you say or do. So to prevent that, you hold yourself back. The second is not desiring to impart oneself to others due to one's own feelings of superiority and having no inclination to converse with someone you feel beneath you. I believe the former may be your case."
    "I believe I am afraid of what people may think. But what can I do about it?" asked Georgiana.
    Elizabeth took her hand and looked directly in her eyes, holding her gaze. "Well, you must realize that what you have to say is very important, whether you are simply stating a fact or your deepest feelings about something. I believe, from what I have seen, you are very mature and would not say or do anything improper. But you must gain confidence in yourself and not put so much consequence on what you think others may be thinking."
    Upon hearing this, Georgiana looked down and blushed. "Miss Elizabeth, I have done some things recently that I am… very ashamed of. I… let… my brother down unimaginably. What I did was… very wrong and immature. It caused William much grief and consternation. My greatest fear is that I may let him down again."
    Elizabeth noticed the change to her formal address and she inwardly berated herself for saying something that would cause Georgiana to recall her inappropriate relationship with Wickham. But she would not let on that she knew of the particulars. "And how did he treat you in this situation. Was he very harsh on you?"
    "Oh, no, never! He has always been so loving, so kind and forgiving. I just cannot bear to hurt him again…because of how it makes me feel." Tears began streaming down her face and she buried her face in her hands.
    "You dear girl, I am quite certain that you do not have to worry about disappointing your brother. He thinks so highly of you. We all occasionally do things that are wrong, even your brother must have some faults." Elizabeth 's mind went back to Netherfield , and her conversation with Mr. Darcy about his faults.
    "Oh no, not that I can see. He is so very perfect."
    "Georgiana, no one is perfect. And I am sure he does not expect you to be perfect either." Elizabeth tried her best to reassure her.
    "He has always had such high standards for himself and he has them for me, as well. But Elizabeth , I do believe you are right. I do keep things to myself, so not to give others the opportunity to think ill of me."
    "You said yourself that your brother is loving, kind, and forgiving. You must not fear his disappointment in you for something you might say or do. That would not be his character!" Elizabeth startled herself with her words about him.
    "But what do I do? How do I change?"
    "First, you must tell yourself that he will not judge you ill, neither will anyone else who is worthy of your concern. He loves you precisely the way you are! Then, to help you with conversations with others, perhaps you could keep a journal?"
    Georgiana looked up at her quizzically. "A journal?"
    "Yes," began Elizabeth , wondering at her own inspiration. "It would help you to write down things you discover; what you hear about people, or places, or things. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Then when you meet people, whether new acquaintances or old, write down what you learn about them. You can refer to your journal and have ideas on what to talk about when