Atonement by J. H. Cardwell Read Free Book Online Page B

done?
    “Talk to me Reese. Please.” He was beginning to cry. “I’m so sorry. I love you, please. I wasn’t thinking about Lauren driving a wedge between us. I…I really was trying not to involve you in any of this…” He took his baseball cap off and was running his hands through his hair.
    “Are you freaking kidding me? That’s exactly what I meant by you putting baseball ahead of US! Of course you didn’t mean to involve me in it. If it were up to you, you would have never told me about you and Lauren. Did you sleep with her again Tate? Because right now, I’m thinking you would do anything for your baseball career.” I turned to walk back the other direction, upset and fuming at Tate.
    “Reese, of course not, I mean, I uh… I just spent a little time with her…it was innocent! I wouldn’t let her…”
    “Damn it Tate!” he was stuttering, so clearly he was hiding something. “Well screw you Tate Justice. I don’t want to see you again, do you hear me? I’m over us. I’m over your…everything.” I whispered the last part. I was sure about this. I wasn’t about to be a part of this, whatever
this
was. I wanted out. I wouldn’t be with Tate with these secrets. I wouldn’t stand for anymore lies. “Don’t worry about me Tate. I will have someone to take care of me, just like you do. Our pasts can come in handy in unison.”
    “What…you…John? No Reese. Don’t do this…PLEASE!.” He was begging.
    “You lost that possessive control of yours the minute you lied, and snuck behind my back Tate. You don’t own me.” Again, I whispered, “I’m no longer yours.” The last part came out cracked up. Never did I think I would say those words to Tate.
    He was whispering now too, his face pale and his eyes distant, “you don’t mean this Reese, please give me a chance to gain back your trust…please Reese.” He dropped to his knees, grabbing my legs like I was a life vest. “I can’t live without you Reese. I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you.”
    I wanted to die right there, I wanted to break down and fall in his arms and tell him I loved him too. I couldn’t imagine my future without Tate in it. My brain wouldn’t let me. It was done with Tate, with his lust for stardom, with his betrayal. It was now putting my body in protection mode, keeping my heart from responding. I couldn’t speak, much less fold to his begging performance.
    I just stared at him down on the ground, and then I walked away. I
walked
away. No tears, no looking back, I just left. My body was numb, but it was able to take me away.
God, help me.I can’t do this on my own.
I prayed. Somehow, I knew that if I didn’t walk away now, I would always be second place to Tate’s dream…baseball. How could I have not seen this before now? I knew he loved the game, I just didn’t realize he loved it as his sole reason for living. In some deranged way of thinking, I had thought
I
was his reason for living. Maybe it was because he had told me so on numerous occasions. Lies, all lies. Now I get it, but it hurt like hell!
    I could hear him groveling behind me. I could hear his sobs until I finally got out of range. I actually ran once I knew he could no longer see me. I was devastated. I wanted to crawl in a hole. Actually worse, I wanted to go home. I needed my mom to rub my hair and tell me it was going to be okay. I had lost the love of my life, and my best friend too, I was lost and alone. What would I do? I couldn’t trust Tate, not ever again. And, I couldn’t trust Elle. She was supposed to be my shadow. I should know all of her thoughts and actions. We needed each other. But, instead, she had kept me completely in the dark by sharing all about me with John. I loved seeing him, but it should be MY decision! I shouldn’t need to be ‘set up’ by Elle. She had hidden so much from me. Best friends don’t do that! The crying started, I couldn’t stop the sobs from racking my body. Then I felt my phone vibrate.