slide for much too long so let me just spell it out because obviously I haven’t been clear enough with what is going on with me. You and I…a romantic relationship…is never going to happen, Drew. I love you so much and I can admit I am probably in love with you but I need to live life and we are suffocating one another. Don’t you see that?”
His arms fell away from my waist. “What are you talking about, Deirdre?”
“We’re so fucking co-dependent on one another it isn’t healthy. I’ve discussed this with Dr. van der Meer and he tells me I am enabling your behavior because I am being selfish and acting like an adolescent. We both are—neither of us have real jobs that utilize our degrees and we still act like perpetual college students. I think this separation will be good for the both of us.”
I paused and looked into those mesmerizing pale irises. “You mean everything to me and I don’t think that will ever change but I have already made up my mind. Whether Aubrey is here or not, I won’t be…not for a while. If you don’t want her to stay then you will have to tell her. You specifically explain why because I am not going to be the bad guy here for you. We both need to do this and…you know it as well as I do.”
My arms fell away and I turned to leave with my head slightly bowed. If I thought too hard, I would start to cry yet again. Breaking Drew’s heart was the equivalent of breaking of my own but it had to be done and that’s what made the whole situation so screwed up. It had to be accomplished but why couldn’t he have done it to me first? I could have forgiven him but it would be that much harder for him to erase the feelings of betrayal he felt for me and that just made me feel worse than I already did.
“Fine, leave, it’s always what you have been good at, Deirdre, but just know when he breaks your heart, I’ll be here to pick up the pieces because it’s what I do. You’re not rid of me!”
I stopped walking as I reached the double doors. “Yeah, I’m quite familiar with the PJ Harvey tune, Drew.”
Before he could say anything else to me, I opened the door and closed it softly behind me.
Aubrey and Colin stood in the sitting room as she tried to work her seductive magic but he was having none of it. In fact, he looked a bit stony-faced as she looked longingly into his face and tossed her hair in that crazy sexual way that sent most men running with a major hard-on in the opposite direction.
“Oh, there you are,” Colin greeted with a little too much enthusiasm. “Ready to go?”
“Almost. I have to pack a bag and then we can leave.” I glared at my cousin. “Aubrey, can I have a word?”
“Oh, sure!” she exclaimed before she bounced off behind me.
“Close the door behind you.”
“What’s going on, chère ?” she inquired as she shut the door.
“Listen, Drew is going to let you stay but you are going to have to tow a very fine fucking line. That means no wild parties, no friends over and no drugs .”
She placed elegant, manicured hands on indignant hips. “I don’t do drugs, Deirdre. I gave all that shit up a long time ago—”
“I’m including marijuana so don’t try to weasel your way out of this.”
“Fuck! Marijuana is legal in this State so how is it a drug?”
I rolled my eyes. “My roomie is this close to throwing you out and not allowing you stay. Here, we don’t smoke in the house so your habit goes outside, on the patio. Also, alcohol is fine but we are more wine and beer than spirits so keep them at the minimum. Don’t try to seduce Drew, wear an appropriate amount of clothing at all times, especially in the common areas, and try not to make a mess. We have a cleaning lady but she only comes every Monday so if you fuck something up, you clean it up. She doesn’t do used condoms in nasty random places or anything else unsavory.”
Aubrey refused to meet my eyes. “Are there any other rules I need to know about?”
“Yeah,