Attack of the Cupids by John Dickinson Read Free Book Online Page B

Rules.
    They were written into a wall of transparent crystal. When you moved around and looked at them from the other side, you could still read them because the lettering wasn’t backwards. And every thought in Sally’s mind knew what they said.
    The First Rule was this:
    Be nise to evryone and they wil be hapy.
    It had been written very early in Sally’s life when her mind had been quite a different place, much smaller and with bright colours and slides and ball parks and things. The words and they wil be had been changed several times over the years, first by adding usuly and then by more elaborate forms such as
they will be more likely to be
and
it will help them to be
and
more than they otherwise would be
and so on,in the light of experience. Muddlespot had even tried writing in
it will not make them any more
 . . . But the words Be nise to evryone . . . hapy were still there underneath it all, carved deep in a childish hand. They always would be, to the end of Sally’s life.
    The Second Rule had been written in about Year 4. It read:
    Do your best at everything because you can.
    There had been no amendments. Experience hadn’t even tried to argue with that one.
    The Third Rule had been added after a rocky couple of months with relationships in Year Eight. It said:
    Keep ruls 1 & 2 but dont rub friends faces in it & dont wory 2 much cos they wil probly b OK with u again soon.
    Again there were no amendments. Although a little while afterwards the hand of Experience had added aand a ✓.
    â€˜What,’ groaned Muddlespot, ‘am I supposed to do with this?’
    He had tried and tried. He had spent hours whispering to Sally things like ‘Did you see the way she looked at you?’ and ‘Why are they
excluding
you?’ and ‘They’re
only
being friendly because they want you to help them with their homework’ etc. It had madeno difference at all. Sally liked and was liked by too many people. If things ever went bad with someone she would go off and be with others for a bit. And (see Rule 1) look for a way to make up. Because everybody did like Sally. Even Muddlespot liked her – a bit. As much as his professional duties allowed.
    Which made it all very difficult.
    â€˜But I’m here all the same,’ he snarled, leering at his reflection in a crystal pillar. ‘Me, Muddlespot.
Prince
of Evil!’
    His reflection leered back at him. The surface of the column was curved. It exaggerated his waist while doing nothing for his height. As he was basically round anyway the effect was not flattering.
    He found a flat bit of wall between two powerful-looking statues. Here he studied his reflection again, frowning fiercely and drawing himself up to his full shape (that of a pear on short stilts). ‘I was sent for a purpose,’ he intoned. ‘Hand-picked.’
    The statues looked down upon him. The list from which he had been picked had numbered precisely one. The Authority whose hand had done the picking had gone strangely quiet since the Incident of the Cat, the Muffin and the Wonky Oven. As far as Low Command were concerned, Sally was now in the box marked ‘OffLimits’ and Muddlespot in the one marked ‘On His Own’.
    â€˜I wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want me!’ he cried.
    â€˜Want me, want me,’ whispered the corridors.
But what does she want me
for
?
The whispers ran away, fading down the aisles and chambers.
    Then, just at the moment when they should have died altogether, there was an echo, or a shuffle of movement, round a corner where he could not see.
    â€˜Who’s there?’ said Muddlespot, wondering if he had really heard it.
    Silence.
    Frowning, Muddlespot went to investigate.
    What he didn’t want to find was that Low Command had changed their minds about that ‘On His Own’ label and had sent someone up to replace him. If so, there was going to have to be a quick