Audacious by Gabrielle Prendergast Read Free Book Online Page A

a young woman
    Is worth.
    Maybe it came to mean
    What it means
    Because people couldn’t bring themselves
    To say “vir-gin-i-ty.”
    Samir is contrite
    When he heads out into the cold
    I feel bad about bringing condoms
    Your father is right.
    I can take care of my own virtue, thanks
    I say, I don’t need my father’s help,
    Or yours for that matter.
    Though it’s nice that we agree.
    He kisses me
    And clomps off to the bus stop
    Leaving deep footprints
    In the new snow.

BAD-NEWS DAY
    I expect a lecture
    But instead I get
    The four worst words
    I have bad news
    Dad delivers them gently
    But has the sense to preface them with
    Mom’s okay but
    I have bad news
    Charlotte Connelly died last night
    Who?
    I say.
    She froze in the park
    Drunk I suppose
    Who can blame her
    It was New Year’s Eve after all.
    Then I realize
    I never knew her name.
    The Phantom is dead.
    Picture the scene:
    The red socks
    The gaping eye hole
    The smell of whiskey
    I can’t help smiling
    When I think of Father Martinez
    Identifying her
    And finding
    The Koran
    Clutched in her cold dead hand.
    She got the last laugh
    Audacious until the very end.

FINAL REST
    Mom cries when we tell her
    Dad said that she would
    She’s with Jesus our Lord now
    Mom says, God is good.
    When I tell Samir about it
    He feels basically the same
    But he says, Allhu Akbar
    Same God, different name.

PARADISE LOST
    And yet looking for
    The Phantom in paradise
    I still see darkness.
    The French get it right
    They have one word to mean both
    Heaven and sky too.
    The Phantom’s last breath
    Rose up in the winter wind
    And made the sky home.

chapter twelve
    BLACK INK
    PLEA BARGAIN
    Mom’s suit, bought on sale
    Almost fits me
    But My Lawyer makes me change
    You need to look young, she says
    Inscrutably, but not cheap
    Nothing sexy
    I settle on the purple Levi’s
    With a pink T-shirt and gray hoodie.
    It has a duck on the pocket
    Perfect, My Lawyer says
    You look about twelve.
    And mentally challenged.
    Funny.
    That’s exactly how I feel.
    I put on the mismatched shoes.
    The prosecutor
    An assistant of David’s dad
    Has a proposal
    A lesser charge
    Contributing to the delinquency of a minor
    A fine and probation
    My Lawyer thinks I should accept.
    And if I don’t? I ask
    You could do time , she says.
    And leaves me
    To talk to
    My dad.

IN MY OWN DEFENSE
    No because
    I haven’t done anything wrong
    No because
    I am a minor myself
    No because
    It was David who posted the photo
    No because
    It’s my body to do with what I like
    No because
    The photo isn’t pornographic
    No because
    Ms. Sagal liked it
    No because
    Samir liked it
    No because
    It’s the best and most true thing
    I’ve ever done
    I’m sorry Dad
    But no.

THE REALITY OF SINGLE PARENTHOOD
    I look up Ms. Sagal on 411.com
    I know she lives near the school
    Because she walks to work
    She’s not hard to find
    Even though I didn’t know
    Her first name is Veronica
    2874, Suite 12
    Gray apartments by the strip mall
    I think for a moment
    This must be the wrong place
    But then I see the hand-built ramp
    Into the ground-floor patio
    She’s surprised to see me
    Behind her, Marika is watching Nova
    Something about the Hubble telescope
    Ms. Sagal invites me in
    And pours tea
    In mismatched cups.
    The lumpy sofa, the vague smell of damp
    The books and art things crammed on shelves
    And medical-looking machines
    Bottles of pills on the counter
    It all coalesces into something:
    Ms. Sagal can’t help me.
    Marika’s school must cost a fortune
    Not to mention her therapy and drugs
    And there’s no Dad to help out
    And Ms. Sagal is just a teacher
    Not a plumber, after all
    Oh my god, what have I done?

NEGOTIATION
    Can you make them
    Give Ms. Sagal her job back?
    I ask My Lawyer.
    It’s the school’s decision
    The court can pressure them of course
    But in exchange for what?
    JUSTICE
    I want to scream
    But instead I say
    If I