Avenged (Hostage Rescue Team Series) (Volume 5) by Kaylea Cross Read Free Book Online Page A

wanted to do just that. The saner part made him keep his mouth shut.
    Despite everything she’d gone through, and a lot of that shit had been far worse than what he’d been subjected to in SERE school, Taya had clearly dealt with the past far better than he had. He didn’t want her to see what a fucking mess he’d become. Bad enough that DeLuca and Tuck and maybe some of the other guys could tell he was slowly unraveling. If Taya knew it too, the shame alone might kill him.
    He eased back in his chair, thought about all the things he’d wanted to tell her over the years. “I’ve watched some of your speeches online. You’re an incredible speaker.” Her quiet strength, her resolve while on stage as she recounted her ordeal in Afghanistan, had floored him. So many times he’d watched the video clips and ached to reach out to her, re-establish communication.
    But he’d known it was selfish to even think about it, so he’d left it alone. He was too fucked up and fighting a daily battle to not let it show. She deserved better than to be tainted by that.
    Her gaze lifted to his, surprise clear in her eyes. “You watched me speak?”
    He shrugged. “You told me in one of your e-mails that you were going to do some speaking engagements for Amnesty International. I looked you up.”
    She smiled again, this one brighter than all the others, making her eyes crinkle adorably at the corners. “Well, then, I’m flattered.”
    Nate shook his head in admiration. “Man, that took guts, Taya. After all that, getting up on stage, traveling all over the world to talk about what happened? Seriously brave.” He was in awe of her ability to overcome things that would have crippled most people.
    Her gaze lowered to the table. “I can see how you’d think that, but the truth is I did it as part of my healing process. Every time I got up on stage to speak to an audience, I was scared to death but I knew the story wasn’t just about me. I thought about the other girls, about Hassan. I was doing it for them.” Her lashes lifted and she gazed directly into his eyes. “And I did it for you and O’Neil, too.”
    At the mention of his fellow PJ’s name, Nate’s stomach balled up into a hard, searing knot below his ribcage. His mind immediately flashed back to a memory of his buddy. O’Neil laughing in their barracks at Bagram just minutes before leaving for the mission with the quick reaction force. They’d been doing a weapons check when someone had made a wisecrack. O’Neil had thrown his head back, mouth open as that contagious belly laugh rolled through the room and rang off the plywood walls, making everyone chuckle in turn.
    Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the image morphed into a snapshot of O’Neil’s pale blue eyes gazing sightlessly up at the clear sky above him, his entire face covered in blood.
    Instantly Nate was transported back to that rugged mountain terrain. He could taste the dust in his mouth, smell the burning cordite as he stared into Taya’s ashen face across O’Neil’s lifeless body. Her eyes were blank with shock and pain. One delicate hand was pressed hard to the side of her neck in an attempt to slow the blood pouring out from beneath her white-knuckled grip…
    Nate sucked in a breath and broke eye contact, giving himself a mental shake. Shit. Shit, it was so fucking vivid.
    He was up and out of his seat without even realizing it, needing to move, escape the memory, his heart halfway up his throat, his lungs burning.
    “Nathan.”
    At her soft voice he stopped and looked back at her. She was reaching for him, her forehead creased in concern, one hand stretched toward him.
    Nate dragged his gaze away from her and cleared his throat, forced himself to exhale and pull in a breath. Dammit, he’d known coming here was a risk, that seeing her might trigger everything. “I’ll just check in with the guys, find out what their ETA is,” he mumbled.
    She opened her mouth to say something else,