Awake and Dreaming by Kit Pearson Read Free Book Online

head was too heavy to read any more.
    She’d managed to hang around Mrs. Mitic’s apartment for the rest of the day, watching a movie with her. But at supper-time the old woman had shooed her down the hall. “All right, that’s enough of you. I want to phone my sister. You know where I am if you need anything.”
    She’d been so brusque that Theo hadn’t gone back, even though the second night was just as awful as the first. She couldn’t escape into sleep from her night terrors, not when she knew Rae wasn’t arriving home later. Theo quivered in bed, sure that every sound was something coming to get her. She didn’t close her eyes until the first sign of light; then she had a terrible nightmare about falling down a dark hole, falling forever without landing.
    Today she had hardly left the couch, letting the TV sound fill up the empty space inside her. She couldn’t read and she couldn’t pretend; she was a grey blob of nothing.
    Now Theo looked up at her mother blearily. At least she wasn’t alone any more.
    Rae looked sort of— sparkly . Her cheeks glowed and her hair was dotted with raindrops. She moved away some of the encrusted plates, sat down beside Theo and gave her a hug. Theo stiffened.
    â€œI have wonderful news, Kitten. Cal has asked me to move in with him!”
    Theo felt as if all the air had been sucked out of her. “What?”
    â€œHe’s asked me to live with him—isn’t that cool? I’ve finally found the right man! He’s really committed, Theo, I can tell.”
    â€œBut—” Theo couldn’t get her tongue around the question. Finally it blurted out. “But what about me ? Will I live there, too?”
    Rae had never looked so guilty. “We haven’t made up our minds about that yet.” She shook her wet hair as if she were shaking away the decision. “But don’t worry, Kitten. I have a plan—I just need to figure out the details. It will all work out, I promise. Whatever happens, I’ll make sure you’re taken good care of.”

5
    â€œP lease, Rae—I don’t want to go!” begged Theo for the hundredth time.
    Rae was shoving Theo’s clothes into a duffel bag. She looked up, holding a blue sock. “Theo, we’ve been over this again and again. I’ve told you, it’s only for a little while. Just until Cal and I get settled. Then I’ll persuade him to let you live with us. But he isn’t ready for you yet—he needs to get used to me first. Don’t you see, Kitten? Besides, Sharon really wants you. She was overjoyed when I suggested it.”
    â€œI don’t know Sharon,” moaned Theo.
    â€œOf course you know her. She’s your aunt! She was always making a fuss over you when you lived with her and Ma. Is there a mate for this sock?”
    Theo ran out of the room and buried her face in the couch. It was no use. She’d argued angrily with Rae all week, ever since she’d phoned Sharon in Victoria.
    Surprisingly, Rae didn’t get angry back. She repeated her arguments with a wooden patience, as if she were learning lines for a play. Theo wanted to scream every time she said, “It’s only for a little while.”
    Exactly how long was a “little while”? Every time she asked, Rae would repeat, “I can’t say exactly. We just have to wait and see.”
    The only thing that was certain was that tomorrow—tomorrow!—she and Rae were taking the ferry to Victoria. Rae was leaving her there. Leaving her to live with her older sister Sharon, whom Theo couldn’t remember at all.
    Wasn’t that what she yearned for? To live somewhere else? But not this! She wanted a family, a proper family with a mother and a father and four children—not a single aunt. And what would Sharon be like? What if she was mean? And she’d have to start a new school again …
    Rae wouldn’t let her