Awake in the Dark: The Best of Roger Ebert by Roger Ebert Read Free Book Online Page B

the surf, his hands in his pockets. "I mean she really could have hurt herself, Jennifer. Came floating in on a wave ... What's the number of the liquor store, honey?"
    "Oh, nine four six six something. You ought to know."
    Marvin went into the kitchen to make the call. "Yeah, hi. Listen, this is Lee Marvin down at 21404." Pause. "Heh, heh. You did, huh? Yeah, well this is me again." Pause. "Heh, heh. Yeah, pal, get anything cold down here. Beer. Yeah. What? Whaddaya mean, light or dark? The green one." He hung up.
    "Didn't you order any anchovies?" Michelle said. "It goes back to my Sicilian grandmother."
    Another record dropped on the turntable: faint, ghostly harp music. Marvin whirled wildly, looking up into the shadows of the far corners of the room. "Jesus, mother," he said, "will you please stay out of the room? I asked you to come only at night." He hit the reject button. "I studied vio lin when I was very young," he said. "You think I'm a dummy, right? I'm only in dummies. The Dirty Dozen was a dummy moneymaker, and baby, if you want a moneymaker, get a dummy."

    By now he was rummaging around in the bedroom.
    "Lee," Michelle said, "you're not going to put it on and parade around in it again? Are you?"
    "Where is it?" Marvin said.
    "I think it's in your second drawer," Michelle said. "His cap and gown. He got an honorary degree."
    Marvin came out of the bedroom with a pair of binoculars. "Look what I found," he said. He went out on the porch and peered into the mist at a thin line of birds floating beyond the surf. "What are they? Coots, or ... are they ducks?"
    Marvin's son, Chris, walked into the living room. "Hi, Chris," Marvin said. "Are these coots, or ... ducks?" Chris went out onto the porch and had a look through the binoculars. "Hard to say," Chris said. He put a leash on LaBoo and took him down to the beach for a walk. Marvin fell back into his chair. The grayness of the day settled down again. On the stereo, Johnny Cash was singing "Greensleeves." The beautiful music of "Greensleeves."
    "Do you realize," Marvin said, "that he gets three million a year for singing that shit? I walk the line, I keep my eyes wide open all the time. I met him in Nashville. He said, You haven't heard my otherstuff? No, I said, I haven't. He sent us his complete twenty-seven fucking albums. Jesus, Johnny, I like your stuff, but for Christ's sake ..."
    Marvin got down on his knees and pulled twenty-seven Johnny Cash albums off a shelf.
    "He's embarrassed," Marvin said, "I'm embarrassed. We have nothing to say, really. So he sends me all his albums. I tried to listen to all of them. It look me two weeks."
    "How old is Cher?" Michelle said.
    "Cher?"
    "Yeah."
    "We don't know yet," Marvin said. "These glasses are no goddamned good. Where are my glasses?"
    "He went out on the porch and stepped on his other glasses," Michelle said. "They didn't break, and he said it was an act of God, telling him not to read any more scripts. So he took the lenses and scaled them into the ocean. Now he can't see."

    "Why," Marvin said, "does it take sixty-seven percent of my income to pay the publicist? He says I should take some broad to lunch, right? It costs me thirty-seven dollars to get out of the joint, and then she knocks me. You know what I asked her? I'll bet you've never had an orgasm, have you? I asked her."
    "Lee, you didn't say that? Really?"
    "I never said anything like that in my life."
    Another record dropped on the stereo. "When it comes to `Clair de Lune,"' he said, "I have to go pass water. Tinkle, is the expression. Oh, sweetheart, do you think this day will soon be o'er? I have a hangover. We had fun last night. Went up to the corner, had a few drinks, told a few lies."
    He disappeared down the hallway. Chris, a good-looking kid of sixteen or seventeen, came back with LaBoo, who was banished to the porch to dry out. LaBoo squinted in through the window, wet and forlorn. "Poor LaBoo," Michelle said. "It's the second time he's been