Back to the Drawing Board by L.L. Collins Read Free Book Online Page A

most concerned about here is that you both drank so much you can’t remember what happened. That’s dangerous, son. I don’t have to tell you that. If you did sleep with her, would you have used protection? I don’t have to get into the dangers of unprotected sex. On top of it all, I’m worried that you’re turning to alcohol to settle your nerves and to stop yourself from acting on an attraction you have to someone. You’re young, and God knows I understand that, but you need to be careful. You know my story. I don’t want that to happen to you.”
    I’d known he would be disappointed about my drinking and essentially blacking out, but in my worry about what had or hadn’t happened, I’d never thought about protection. I didn’t carry things like that with me on a regular basis, so I knew if we’d had sex, it hadn’t been protected, which brought up a whole other plethora of worry.
    “Oh God,” I said. “What have I done?” I looked down at Logan, so peaceful in my arms. As much as I loved him, I wasn’t ready for one of my own. Especially with someone I’d known only hours.
    “You said she called you while you were on the plane? I think it’s time you call her back and have a conversation. You’re a grown up, Carter. You can’t bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away. Plus, you aren’t the type of man who walks out on a woman like that, no matter what happened. If you get this job, you’ll have to deal with her professionally and deal with whatever feelings you have towards her. And if you don’t get the job, you still should be a man and talk to her. From what you’ve said, you like her.”
    “I do like her,” I admitted, “but it’s complicated. I don’t know her. I’m attracted to her, and she was a lot of fun to be around, but that’s not what I’m there for.”
    My dad smirked. “Son, if there’s one thing you’ll learn about this life, it’s that nothing ever goes according to plan, and that the best-laid plans often don’t work the way you think they will.” He stood, reaching his arms out for Logan. “I’m going to go with your mom and the kids down to the beach. You call Julia and set things straight, and then come join us. Okay?”
    “She told me in her voicemail that she liked me,” I told him. “I’m scared about that. I’ve purposely kept my distance from women that could interfere with my life plan. She’s a game changer, Dad. I know it. I can feel it.”
    He turned back to me. “While your dream to work at this company seems number one in your life right now, in my experience there’s nothing like finding the person you’re supposed to live your life with. I know you just met this girl, but you’re all twisted up over her. Explore it. Figure it out. Don’t shut yourself off because you think you should. A job is a job; it’s not your life. This—-” he indicated around him “—-is life. Whether it’s her or someone else, don’t purposely try to keep yourself from having a connection with someone because you’re afraid.”
    “I’m not afraid,” I lied.
    “Yes, you are,” he answered. “And I understand why. Just don’t let the past decide your future, Carter. Believe me. It won’t get you anywhere.” With that, he turned and walked out the door my mom and the kids had left a few minutes before. I pushed myself off of the couch and stood at the slider, watching the waves lap the shore over and over. I looked back at my phone, mocking me from the table. I needed to be a man, but the little boy inside of me was pouting and shaking his head no. I thought back to what my dad had just said to me about life being more important than a job. It was the exact opposite of what Ronan had instilled in me, and it confused me even though I knew what the right answer was. I’d always thought your life was your job, and how high on the ladder you could get determined your worth as a man.
    I finally snatched the phone up, irritated at myself. Just