Backstage: Street Chronicles

Backstage: Street Chronicles by Nikki Turner Read Free Book Online Page B

Book: Backstage: Street Chronicles by Nikki Turner Read Free Book Online
Authors: Nikki Turner
But I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
    I called back an hour later, and my assumption was correct. The number had been changed.
    Somebody told somebody some story about what I did

What did I do ‘cause what I did affects the way I live

They said I said something (huh), so what I say

I told what to who, to the cops, that ain’t no way to play

Miss me with your misery history’s gonna prove it

Dat snitching ain’t in my blood but yours we can’t remove it
.
    I had isolated myself in the studio, making hit after hit to prepare myself if I got locked up. I didn’t want the fans that I still had left to forget me.
I can’t be forgotten
. I put on my headphones to block out any sound. The headphones also prevented negative thoughts from coming to the surface. I wanted so bad to write, butthe pen wouldn’t write shit that made sense. Words turned into scribbles.
    I held my head to prevent the migraine from coming. In a short amount of time, BET had pulled every video I had. I had mad publicity but the wrong message; no snitching. How that sound? I worked too hard my twenty-four years on this earth for this to be where I am. Where am I?
    I despise a snitch. I never understood how a snitch could do what they do and walk the same streets and breathe the same air as the person they told on like it’s nothing. That’s unbelievable to me. I can’t sell one brick ‘cause a mu’fucka scared of me. Most of them locked up and the ones that are not act like they’re done with the game. Yeah right! I don’t blame them though. I wouldn’t mess with me.
    Kai strolled into the studio dressed like she was ready to go to a major event. She seldom goes out. She probably just shit, shaved, and bathed to come here. This is her happening spot. Her perfume cleared my sinuses. My mind was so gone I couldn’t think of that smell to save my life even though I had the same perfume. She dressed like she ready to do something in that little skirt. I’m willing to bet she wasn’t wearing any panties. She probably contemplated sex all the way up here. I hate to be the one to disappoint her ‘cause I’m not thinking about her ass.
    The engineer had left so it was just the two of us in the studio. She started rubbing my shoulders to ease the tension. She felt it. My mind went elsewhere.
Snitch
. I couldn’t think of one person in my family that sold out.
Snitch
. Me. Never.
Humph!
The shit they say. I tell you they will say anything out here.
    Kai had eased in between my legs and I never noticed her. Shows how much I was paying attention. She squatted down and began kissing my inner thigh. I looked at her. I couldn’t be turned on tonight even if my life depended on it.
    “No, Kai.”
    She pretended like she didn’t hear me. I didn’t want to have to repeat myself since she probably thought I was playing hard to get. Instead I rolled my chair back, away from her.
    “Kai, I said no. What part of no don’t you understand?”
    “You sometimes say no and we still do it.”
    “Man, I can’t do this.”
    She stood up and came toward me. “What you mean you can’t do this?”
    I didn’t know what I meant. Was I actually speaking of the moment or of us in the present. Everything around me didn’t make sense no more.
    “Exactly what I said. Look, man, I don’t need this right now.”
    Not able to leave well enough alone, she had to go and say, “It’s always what you need. What about what I need? It’s not always about you although that may seem hard for you to believe. I sit around and let you do you.”
    “You let me?”
    “I never say nothing.”
    “You let me?” I couldn’t get past that. How she going to let me do anything? I am a grown-ass woman. She’s like the rest of these mu’fuckas, just say anything. I took the same hand that was holding this big head of mine and wiped down my face real slowly as if to change my expression. Here comes the drama. I swear this girl needed her own reality show.
    “When you

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