of her locker, staring at her letter.
“Go on without me.” I said to Rally as I sat down next to Beth.
“But lunch.” Rally complained.
“I’ll be there, save me a seat. Save one for Beth, too.”
“Fine,” Rally sighed as she strode out the door.
I bumped Beth’s shoulder with my own. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Why do you care? I heard. You’re cleared for hunting.” Beth traced the bold words on her letter with her finger.
“So? You’re not exactly in May’s situation and you wanted to comfort her. I thought I’d return the favor.”
Beth’s face darkened. “So hunter Lea feels bad for me and wants to bestow her pity. No thanks.”
“It’s not like that.” I took a deep breath before I continued, “I think this whole medical clearance is crap. But really, May is lucky. At least she knows and can try to move on. But you… you have to pretend like everything’s fine and go through another exam.”
“It is crap.” Beth wadded up her letter and threw it at the floor.
“So if you ever want to talk about it, let me know.” I stood.
“But we really don’t know each other that well. Why would I want to talk to you?”
“Do you have any other friends that can keep a secret?” I ran my hands over my hair and looked toward the door. Maybe talking to Beth wasn’t the best idea I’ve had.
Beth snorted. “And you can? What about your little friend Rally?”
“Rally’s great, but she’s only twelve. And yes, I can. Even from Rally. Would it help if I shared a secret with you?”
“You’d do that? Tell me a secret?” She studied me.
I shrugged. “Why not?”
“What is it? Does Rally know?”
“I don’t want to hunt. I don’t want to be responsible for a boy’s death, I don’t want a baby, at least not now, and I hate changing. And no, Rally doesn’t know. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her.” A breath I didn’t realize I was holding let out slowly. My muscles relaxed. For the first time in two weeks, I told someone what I really felt.
“Wow, Lea. I didn’t know. I-” For a while, Beth stared at me, her mouth gaping open. Finally, she said, “I won’t tell anyone. And thanks for offering to talk to me. I’m nervous, but I’m not ready to talk yet, I’ll let you know.” She stood and pulled me into an awkward hug. “Lunch?”
“I’m starving.”
***
May and another girl weren't in class on Monday. Ms. Dawning gave a speech about how they were still our friends and we should be kind to them when we see them. She said that they were lucky in a way because they were put on the adoption list and wouldn't have to go through changings any longer. They would most likely become mothers before we did. During Ms. Dawning's speech, the twins stood behind me and sniggered. I gave them dirty looks until they stopped.
At lunch, Rally and I saw May. She looked more pale than usual, and her eyes were rimmed with red. We waved and called her over, but she ducked her head and sat at a corner table with her back to us.
“I saw what you did.” Beth appeared in front of us.
“So?” Rally made a face at her.
“So, I think it was nice of you. Even if she wants to be alone, she knows that she could’ve sit with you.” Beth flicked a pink card to each of us and walked toward May. I watched her give May the same pink card.
“Hey! It's an invitation to Beth's house. For a sleepover.”
“Shh! You don't have to announce it to the entire cafeteria.”
“Sorry,” she muttered, “I've just never been invited to a sleepover before.”
I opened the invitation. Inside, Beth's scrawling handwriting invited me to her house at six on Friday evening. Beth probably invited the entire class. I didn't want to go to her house and socialize with the girls.
“You're going, right?” Rally interrupted my thoughts.
“What? No. I don't know.”
“Well, I'm going if my mom will let me. You should go too.” She snatched a grape from my tray and popped it into her mouth.
“I might Rally. I don't