Beds and Blazes by Bebe Balocca Read Free Book Online Page B

eyebrow and caught Dora’s eye. “Someone on the manly side?”
    “Oh, yes, he’s definitely manly,” Dora giggled. “In more ways than one.”
    “Hot damn! Did you take any pictures?” asked Bernice. “Oooh, or video? Got it on YouTube yet?”
    “Sorry, Bernice, no images to share. He’s…kind of old-fashioned and a little silly at times, but he seems quite fond of me.” She slid her head from side to side as she spoke. “A bit self-conscious, but it’s actually endearing in a funny way.”
    “Go on,” Deb urged. Her carrot-red curls glowed in the afternoon sun. “As an old married woman, I need to be reminded of how fun dating is. Marcus thinks that the same old incense and massage oil will do the trick every time.”
    “What’re you complaining about? I’d love to have a man light some incense and rub on me. Send that husband of yours right over!” Bernice cackled.
    “Well, it’s not all perfect,” conceded Dora. “He just gets so flustered and upset that he sort of ruins it every now and then, but then he comes back and he’s just so cute and charming…” She bit her lower lip, remembering, as the music dwindled to a close. “Sometimes bumbling and tripping over his words when he talks, but then he stops talking and, well, there’s nothing awkward about his body, girls.”
    “Mm-hm,” Carmen sighed. “Anybody thirsty besides me? I’ve got some peach iced tea. Be right back.”
    Bernice turned to Dora. “What’s this bumbling manly man getting upset about?” she asked. “Does he lose his temper?”
    “Oh, no, never at me. He just gets mad when, like, something goes wrong, and he’ll blush and fuss and go stomping off.”
    “What in the world’s been going wrong?” wondered Colby. “Creepy guests at the inn?”
    “No, the guests at Bohemian Rhapsody are fine—the human sort that is. It’s the animals that are causing trouble. You know, when one of those armadillos that are on the prowl digs into my garden, or a rat knocks over the bin of fertiliser, or a bat gets into the laundry.” She chuckled. “I thought his head was going to explode the other day when we got home from a walk and a buzzard had knocked over some of my potted plants, and then there was that turtle…”
    “Prowling buzzards and bats in broad daylight?” asked Deb. “Sorry for asking, Dora, but were you the only one to see these creatures?” She lifted her pinched index finger and thumb to her pursed lips, inhaled deeply and crossed her eyes.
    Dora punched Deb lightly on the bicep. “Nothing like that, you old hippie, but yes, I’m the only one who’s seen them, and that seems to make him even madder. I don’t know what he thinks he would do with a rat or a buzzard if he caught it, but it kills him that they’re getting away. Every time something’s gotten messed with, he gets bent out of shape that he hasn’t laid eyes on the perpetrator and then goes off in a huff.”
    “What in the hell is going on at your place? Armadillos, bats, turtles, rats… Are you starting a damn zoo over there? Bed, breakfast and petting farm?” Bernice chortled. “Don’t think that many kiddos are gonna be interested in petting buzzards, though, Dora, I hate to break it to you.”
    “The animals have been going a bit nuts around my place,” Dora sighed, “but what can I do? I’m just chalking it up to spring fever. I guess I’ve been too distracted with this”—she smiled—“little romance of mine that I haven’t had time to care about the critters. A mess or two isn’t going to spoil my fun.”
    The side door swung shut and Carmen strode towards the gathering with a tray full of tumblers and a pitcher of tea.
    “Well?” Bernice asked. She distributed glasses of amber tea as Carmen filled them.
    “Huh?” asked Dora.
    “His name ,” Colby prodded.
    “Who is it?” Deb asked insistently.
    “Oh, his name.” Dora twitched her hips, raised her arms to shoulder-height and rolled her ribs. “Lowell