Before I Break by Portia Moore Read Free Book Online Page A

problem dropping f-bombs in the message he left me.
    “Son , we know you’re upset,” my mom interjects.
    “ Upset, doesn’t explain this. My life has been a lie—I don’t have a life!”
    “ You have a life. You, you’re the real person. He’s…”
    “ Is that right? Because he has the wife? I’m pretty sure he has friends, and a house. He at least knew what was going on, and according to him, I’m ruining his life. He knows a hell of a lot more about everything than I do!” I shout, and there’s silence.
    “ How could you not tell me this was happening?” I say, my anger turning to exasperation.
    “We thought w e were protecting you. We didn’t want to burden you.”
    “ Huh, how do you think I’m feeling now?” I laugh with disdain.
    “We’re so sorry, Christopher,” my mom says, tears falling from her eyes. She can save them now.
    “W e thought it would make things worse,” my dad says incidentally. Like hiding the fact that I have another person inside of me was trivial. Some sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
    “How?! How could you think that was best? How could you think that me not knowing there’s this jerk-off running around, screwing people, and getting married was best for me?!” I ask, letting out a disbelieving laugh. They looked dumbfounded.
    “You let me think that I was having blackouts and amnesia, a normal side effect of some made-up neurological disorder. How could you do this to me?” I say louder because it’s as if they aren’t hearing me.
    “We were going to tell you,” My dad finally answers.
    “When ? Because this has obviously been going on for years. Why now? Oh, because I could possibly get arrested for being a polygamist?” I shout.
    “That’s enough!” my father says, authority dripping from his voice. My chest is heaving, but I try to calm down; seeing the tears covering my mom’s face and hearing her soft whimpers from her covered mouth breaks my heart.
    “Don’t you dare think for a minute this has been easy for us. You don’t think we wanted to tell you? You don’t think we wanted this guy to disappear? Trust me he’s not any fun to deal with! The day we met him was one of the worst days of our lives,” my dad says, his voice stern but yielding.
    “Not telling you was one of the most difficult decisions we have ever made. We thought we were doing what was best for you. Clearly we see that we were wrong now,” he continues.
    “You have to know we didn’t do this to hurt or deliberately deceive you. You have to know that, Chris. We thought that it would be easier for you not to know, until we knew you were in a good place to deal with this. We didn't know what would happen if we told you...” my mom explains timidly.
    “ We couldn't see what good would come from telling you,” my dad interjects.
    “The doctors pretty much told us that there was no cure for this. Intensive therapy could make you one with this guy. Trust me he isn’t anyone you need to be ‘one’ with. Why tell you this if there was nothing we could do about it? It was just going to make you worried and stressed out of your mind,” my dad says defensively.
    “When you came back after my diagnosis, we were going to tell you. By that time, we knew about Lauren and saw that Cal was doing things that would eventually affect you,” my mom sighs.
    “But you were being so strong for me while I was sick. It seemed like too much. As time went on, things got better for both of us, we thought. We hoped that maybe there wasn’t a problem anymore,” my mom says, her voice returning to normal.
    “Ev erything has been going so well. We were selfish to revel in the normalcy of life.” my dad says.
    “When you told us yesterday that you were marrying Jenna, we knew we had to say something. We were just trying to figure out the best way,” my mom adds.
    I let out a deep breath and hold my head. I know that they d idn’t have evil intentions. I know all of this time they’ve had