Behind the Film Star's Smile by Kate Hardy Read Free Book Online Page B

date.’
    ‘Tell me about it,’ she said, rolling her eyes. ‘They’ve found absolutely the perfect partner for you, so all you have to do is go on a date with them and life will be fantastic again.’
    ‘You, too?’ he asked.
    She wrinkled her nose and nodded, and Luke wondered if she knew how cute she looked.
    Probably not.
    There was nothing studied about Jess. What you saw was what you got. She wasn’t like most of the women in his world, very aware of how every move and gesture could be interpreted.
    ‘Not everyone tries to fix me up,’ Jess said. ‘My parents, my sister and my best friend know I’ll date again when I’m ready.’
    ‘And the others?’
    ‘Have discovered that I’m not very available.’ She wrinkled her nose again. ‘Which is horrible of me. I know they mean well and they want me to be happy.’
    ‘But you’d rather choose your own date.’
    She nodded. ‘You, too?’
    ‘You’re lucky that your family understands and doesn’t push you,’ he said feelingly. ‘I’ve pretty much run out of excuses to avoid my mother’s dinner parties.’
    ‘Tut, and you an award-winning actor.’
    Luke couldn’t remember the last time he’d met someone with such a dry sense of humour. Someone who made him laugh for all the right reasons. He grinned. ‘You have a point. If I can’t act my way out of a dinner party, I shouldn’t be doing this job.’ He scratched behind Baloo’s ears, and the dog sighed with happiness. ‘Like you say, they mean well and they want you to be happy. But sometimes their idea of what makes you happy isn’t the same as yours.’
    ‘So you still miss Fleur?’ She grimaced. ‘Sorry, that was really nosey. I shouldn’t have asked you. Ignore me.’
    ‘It’s OK.’ Of course she’d be curious. And of course she’d know his ex-wife’s name. The gossip pages had been full of their divorce, last year.
    ‘No, it’s not OK,’ she said. ‘You don’t have to tell me.’
    Luke was surprised to find that actually he did want to tell her. Some of it, anyway. Jess might be the one person who really understood how he felt. And he already knew he didn’t have to remind her about set rules. What he said to Jess would stay with her and go no further.
    ‘Sort of. I know I don’t feel the same way about her as I did eighteen months ago. I don’t love her any more.’ He didn’t hate her quite so much any more, either, so that was progress. Of sorts. ‘I suppose I don’t miss her so much as I miss being married,’ he said. ‘I miss the closeness.’
    She nodded. ‘Yeah. That’s the hard part. Waking up in the middle of the night and the bed feels too big.’
    She definitely knew what he was talking about, then. ‘It’s the stupid little things. Putting the kettle on to make tea and remembering that you only need one mug. Buying croissants for one at the deli on a Sunday morning.’
    ‘Coming home, and there’s nobody to tell about your day—because if you ring someone to talk about it then they’ll know you’re feeling lonely and miserable. Then they’ll feel bad if they can’t change their plans and come and see you; and you’ll feel bad if they do come and see you, because you know you really ought to be able to cope with it on your own,’ she said.
    Oh, yes, he knew that one, too. ‘Then, the next day, they’ll ring you and suggest joining them for dinner or a show at the theatre or the opening night of an exhibition, and you go along to discover they’ve also invited someone else—someone they think might stop you being lonely.’
    ‘And you’re polite, and you try to have a nice time, but it pushes you even further into that little box of loneliness,’ she said.
    ‘Absolutely.’ He reached over and squeezed her hand. ‘Thank you.’ Her skin was soft and warm, and he had to resist the temptation to draw her hand up to his mouth and fold a kiss into her palm. Which would be insane, because that wasn’t what either of them wanted. She