Beowulf by Neil Gaiman Read Free Book Online Page A

thanes.
    WIGLAF
    Look, all I’m saying is we don’t want any trouble with the locals. So, just for tonight, no fighting, and no fucking. Okay?
    OLAF
    I wasn’t planning on doing any fucking.
    WIGLAF
    Well, I obviously wasn’t talking to you then Olaf, was I?
    Yrsa sticks her tongue out at Hondshew. He smiles a yellow-toothed smile at her.
    WIGLAF
    Hondshew. Make me feel like you’re pretending to listen to me. It’s only been five days since you waved your wife goodbye.
    This maybe so, but Hondshew is still driven by his loins.
    CUT TO:
    44 EXT. HEROT - DAY
    44
    The sun continues to move West. Now the shadows are long, and the light has taken on a late afternoon glow. We hear, muffled, the PARTY NOISE. A little louder than before.
    CUT TO:
    45 INT. HEROT - MEAD HALL - DAY
    45
    Beowulf walks behind Wiglaf, to Hrothgar’s throne. Wealthow’s face, unearthly in its beauty, stares at him.
    WEALTHOW
    I hope that God is kind to you, Sir Beowulf. It would be a great shame on this house, if one so brave and noble were to die in it.
    BEOWULF
    There is no shame to die in battle with evil.
    Hrothgar, perhaps getting a little drunk, does not realize that this is a private conversation, and announces, to everyone listening, including Unferth, standing in the shadows…
    HROTHGAR
    Hear that? I said that before I fought the great dragon of the Northern moors! Killed him, too. There’s a soft spot beneath the dragon’s chin,
    (he points to it)
    and you go in with a knife or a dagger…
    Wealthow ignores her husband. She says, directly to Beowulf, eye to eye contact.
    WEALTHOW
    And if you die?
    BEOWULF
    There will be no corpse to weep over, no funeral to prepare, and none to mourn me. Grendel will dispose of my body in a bloody animal feast, taking my bones and sucking off my flesh, swallowing me down.
    Wealthow is obviously sexually turned on by the thought of sucking and swallowing on Beowulf. She swallows, moistens her lips, slightly upset by her reaction.
    She forces a smile.
    WEALTHOW
    I would mourn you, my lord.
    BEOWULF
    It is up to fate, and fate will go as it must.
    Hrothgar has completely missed the moment of strange romance between his wife and the young warrior. Or perhaps he hasn’t…either way, he begins to talk, getting up from his chair.
    HROTHGAR
    Your father came here fleeing the Wylflings. He’d killed one of them--
    BEOWULF
    Heatholaf.
    HROTHGAR
    (nodding vigorously and then continuing)
    --that was him! I paid the blood debt for your father, and he swore his oath to me. No good deed goes unrewarded, though. I saved his skin, now you’re here to save ours, eh?
    He SLAPS Beowulf on the back.
    Â 
    We hear A LOW, BITTER, LAUGH from the shadows behind the throne. Unferth steps out of the shadows into the light, CLAPPING his hands.
    UNFERTH
    All hail the great Beowulf!
    (softer, to Beowulf)
    Here to save our pathetic Danish skins, eh?
    (bitter irony & plenty of it)
    And we are so damned grateful, mighty Beowulf. But can I ask a question -- as a huge admirer of yours?
    Beowulf simply stares at him, with the sort of unblinking stare that Clint Eastwood made famous.
    UNFERTH (CONT’D)
    You see, there was another Beowulf I heard tell of, who challenged Brecca the
    (more)
    UNFERTH (CONT’D)
    mighty to a swimming race, out on the open sea. Was that you?
    Beowulf wonders if he’s being set up. But he nods.
    BEOWULF
    I swam against Brecca.
    UNFERTH
    Hmm. I thought that it had to be a different Beowulf. Someone else of the same name. You see
    (he has raised his voice here, to try and make sure that everyone in the mead hall can hear him)
    --the Beowulf I heard of swam against Brecca, and lost . He risked his life, and Brecca’s, in the deep ocean to serve his own vanity and pride. A boastful fool. And he lost . So I thought it had to be someone else…
    Beowulf stands, and slowly walks toward Unferth. You could hear a pin drop. All the Thanes, both