right now. I’d just let an ex ... whatever Asher was, have sex with me on the back of his bike in broad daylight. Or the beginning of daylight. I hadn’t even let Aiden past second base. I wasn’t exactly a brazen hussy, I knew that considering I’d slept with only one person, but I was a bitch. Aiden was in my bed right now. He had supported me through my nightmare, patient and caring. This and the ever present weight of grief on my chest had my cocktail of emotions turning sour in my stomach.
Getting off this bike meant going back to reality. Saying goodbye to Asher. Whatever it was between us was not something I could deal with. I could barely breathe after what had just happened. I couldn’t deal with it long term. I had to think of Aiden. But in that moment, I indulged in fantasy, traveled back to the memory that would chase away the complications of the present with the beauty of the past.
Chapter Four
Three Years Ago
Normally I’m not one to drink into the early hours with a group of bikers and beautiful women, who seemed to radiate everything I wanted to embody. But I did. I may not have spoken much, but my silence didn’t seem to be noticeable, nor did it distance me like it normally would. Maybe because it didn’t stick out much, the scary biker Bull, beating me with his lack of words. I felt a sort of camaraderie in our mutual silence. He was battling demons of his own, much scarier than mine I knew, but it was comforting to know that being trapped in your own head wasn’t something that only happened to weak college girls, big bikers could be brought mute if the demon was big enough.
To my disappointment, Asher had left midway through our conversation, one I thought had been going well. He had frowned down at a text. His eyes moved to me and he regarded me soberly. As I was far from sober, I didn’t do too well registering what lingered beyond his gaze. His hand had bitten into my hip. I sucked in a breath at the contact, never feeling attraction like I did from his simple touch.
His eyes darkened at this.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “Babe, I’ve gotta go,” he declared.
I tried to hide my disappointment, though I was afraid that alcohol might work in taking away my shyness, it also hampered me masking my emotions.
Asher grinned, he brushed a wayward strand from my face. “I’m happy that you seem to feel about the same as I do about my departure,” he said quietly.
I stared at him. Couldn’t stop, even if you paid me. This might be the only time a guy this hot ever paid any attention to me, looked at me like this. I was soaking up every part of this moment like a sponge. Especially his hand at my hip.
“I’ll be back for you,” he promised darkly, his eyes glinting with desire.
I swallowed. “What?” I half squeaked in surprise.
The hand at my hip tightened. “You stay here, don’t drink anymore.” He frowned down at the glass in my hands. “You’re cute as fuck drunk, baby, but I want you to be able to sit on the back of a bike.” His eyes darkened more. “I want you to be able to remember how hard I fuck you tonight, and I want you to be able to suck my cock,” he murmured.
It took a full couple of seconds for his crude words to penetrate my foggy mind. They penetrated my womb the moment they left his beautiful mouth that wasn’t inhibited by alcohol. I sucked in a breath. No one had ever talked to me like that before. I didn’t think people actually talked like that. I loved it. The image of him ... fucking me, of me doing that to him, had my panties dampen. It was a feeling I was not used to. I knew what being turned on felt like, I wasn’t a completely innocent virgin, but I didn’t know what this felt like. Feeling like my whole body was on fire as a Hot with a capital H biker stood in front of me saying dirty things.
“Fuck,” he muttered again, hand at my jaw. “See that my little flower likes the sound of that,” he said, eyes