wounded him.
*
I dressed in all of two minutes and then flew out the front door like I was late for the ball. Mr. Henry smiled at me and I forced one in return. How many girls had he seen running out of this mansion?
The driver turned out to be a petite Japanese woman named Mi-oh who bowed and then surprised me with a French-Canadian accent. And the car? A limo.
"Where will I be taking you today?" she asked once I was inside.
I gave her my address and then sat back on in the chair feeling that the limo was a cruel joke. This really was like the ball in reverse. I'd been with my dark and damaged Prince and now I was returning alone to my average life having broken his heart.
We left the mansion, the wheels crunching on the gravel and I didn't look back even once. I couldn't bear it.
Mi-oh soon started chatting as we drove and I found her accent soothing. We were soon talking about our home towns and she told me about her Japanese mother and Canadian father who met while in Berlin as students. I got lost in her stories and by the time we reached my apartment block, I was actually laughing.
She winked at me before driving away and standing there in front of my building in the warm sun, life's problems suddenly didn't seem so bad.
*
I opened all the curtains in my tiny apartment and let the light stream in. Scavenged bookshelf, fading sofa and a decor by IKEA but it was home. I had a shower and found myself thinking about Mr. Stone in a distant abstract kind of way. It was like I'd run out of emotions - both good and bad. I smiled at the memory of chasing through the maze and then the crazy sex that followed and felt a distant pull of sadness when I turned down Mr. Stone but I didn't cry.
I dried myself and dressed in comfortable jeans and a faded t-shirt I'd had since I was sixteen. I sat on my sofa and flicked through channels with the television on mute. Things were happening in the world but I was watching them without seeing. Somehow the crazy ups and downs had exhausted me enough that I could think logically through this all.
Tell Mr. Stone the truth and let happen whatever would happen.
Wear the collar and tell him the truth later on.
Don't wear the collar and never tell him the truth.
Wear the collar and never tell him the truth.
The anger that had driven me to join Stone-Black was still there but my feelings for Mr. Stone had pushed it away. But what did that mean? Stone Pharma had pumped some bad stuff into the groundwater and people had gotten very sick. Some other branch of their company running a quarry on the side of town had followed this up with some illegal dumping of their own that virtually guaranteed no crops would grow for fifty years. Sick people plus no farming and Bedford had changed from a thriving town to a blip on the road people didn't bother to stop at.
Was I saying that becau se I was fucking Mr. Stone I didn't care what had happened?
But I wanted him...
I turned the television volume on and watched a show where an English couple transformed a dilapidated barn into a stunning modern house. Everything followed so neatly and their problems were easily overcome.
I found myself wishing life could be that way.
*
Some time that night my emotions returned and with them a thousand thoughts of Mr. Stone. Him caressing me. Pulling me across the bed. Brushing a crop over my inner thigh. I found myself getting hot and bothered and wishing he was here with me.
I took myself to the kitchen and drank a glass of water chilled with floating ice-cubes. The cold helped but the sound of the clinking ice-cubes didn't. Mr. Stone sitting in his chair by firelight and me standing naked before him. Mr. Stone bending me over the sofa...
I managed to make it to bed without touching myself but it was a close thing.
Sunday went by in a blur of domestic tasks and moments when I found myself fantasizing about Mr. Stone. In the vegetable section of the supermarket I saw a rather large carrot and then quickly