Bingo Brown's Guide to Romance by Betsy Byars Read Free Book Online

don’t know—form letters.”
    â€œZelda Lou-iiiise!” a voice called from inside the house.
    Weezie made a face. “What, Claudine Shirley?” she called back.
    â€œYou wanted me to let you know when it was eleven-thirty, Zelda Louise. Well, it’s eleven-thirty.”
    â€œThanks.” Weezie got to her feet. “I’ve got to go in and”—she laughed out of her nose—“get these doohickeys out of my hair.”
    â€œIt’s about time.”
    â€œCome on, Melissa, help me,” Weezie said.
    Weezie crossed to the front door. Melissa was standing there, looking once again at her shoes.
    Weezie looked over her shoulder. “Come back tomorrow,” she told Wentworth, “and see my curls.”
    â€œMaybe I will. Maybe I won’t,” Wentworth said. “I don’t make no promises.”
    â€œI bet you come.”
    Weezie went into the house with a sassy wave of her hand to Wentworth. Melissa followed without any signal at all.
    Bingo stood without moving. They—the all-time champions of mixed-sex conversations—had lost their title. The words “form letter” had hurt him. He was as tired as if he’d been pumping iron.
    Wentworth got on his bicycle and Bingo, robotlike, did, too.
    â€œSo what’s wrong?” Wentworth asked. “You wanted to see Melissa, you got to see her.”
    â€œRight.”
    â€œSo what’s wrong?”
    â€œI didn’t find out anything, Wentworth. I don’t know any more than I did. I don’t know if Melissa’s here for a visit or here to stay or what.”
    â€œYou should have asked,” Wentworth said. “You want to know something, Worm Brain, you ask. Remember that from now on.”
    â€œI’ll try.”
    â€œHow’d you ever get in the gifted program in school?”
    â€œI honestly don’t know.”
    â€œWhat do you do in there, anyway?”
    â€œRead.”
    â€œThat’s it?”
    â€œPretty much. Read and talk about what we read.”
    â€œI tell you one thing—I sure am glad I ain’t gifted.” Wentworth leaned back on his bicycle seat. “Here’s my rule about grades. You could learn from this. The only grade I want is C+. B is wimpy. D gets me grief at home. If you get an A, you’ve been wasting your time. And if I get a C, and it ain’t got a plus after it, I put one.”
    They continued to pedal toward home.
    Wentworth said, “You want to go back over to Weezie’s tomorrow?”
    Bingo said, “No.”
    â€œI don’t either, but I figure you got to.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œLook, you bombed out. That was obvious. And when you bomb out, Worm Brain, you have to try again real quick or you’ll end up bonkers.”
    Bingo pedaled faster.
    â€œDon’t worry,” Wentworth said, pulling up beside him, “I’ll see that you come and I’ll give you my personal guarantee not to let you look stupid no matter how stupid you look.”
    Bingo said, “Thanks a lot.”
    â€œThis’ll cheer you up. Burp burp burp-burp-burp. You gotta get this song.” He glanced at Bingo and said, “It’s your song, Worm Brain. Burp burp burp-burp-burp, and Bingo was his name-o!”

Bingo Brown and the Brownettes
Problem #6. Saturday Inertia.
    Suppose you wake up one Saturday morning and you do not feel exhilarated, as you usually do on Saturday mornings. Indeed, you don’t even want to watch cartoons. Can this be due to love?
    Bingo’s Answer: Definitely. This is known as unrequited love, and it is one of the least fortunate types of love. It is better to have no love than unrequited—
    â€œO H, BINGO, COME HERE a minute.” Bingo put down his pencil.
    â€œHurry, Bingo, I’ve got something I want to show you.”
    Dutifully, Bingo got up and went down the hall. He stood in the doorway to his mother’s room, leaning