Blessing in Disguise by Eileen Goudge Read Free Book Online

bathroom for an aspirin to relieve her head, which was suddenly pounding, that Grace discovered how bad things could get just when you think you’ve had all you can take.
    On the floor, like an awful metaphor for this whole disastrous evening, was a small puddle of vomit.
    She was on her knees cleaning it up, wearing fat rubber gloves, fighting to keep from crying or getting sick herself, when Jack walked in. He stared down at her for a moment, then pulled her to her feet.
    “You shouldn’t be doing this,” he said gently. “I’ll take care of it.”
    “Why shouldn’t I?” she snapped. “Because she’s your daughter? Because we could never possibly come close to sharing responsibility for things that happen with your kids or mine?” Tears stung her eyes.
    “No, Grace, that’s not it at all,” he said, his mouth—oddly vulnerable in a face strong and creased with living—turning up in an ironic half-smile. “I was just thinking how tonight you’ve had enough of Hannah as it is.”
    “It wasn’t so bad.” Then she caught herself, admitting, “Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a bed of roses.”
    “No, but you handled it like a pro.” He put his big hands on her shoulders, his smile fading, giving way to apology, and maybe a touch of regret.
    “Jack, is this how it’s going to be with us from now on?” Grace felt herself begin to tremble.
    “I love you,” he said, his voice grave. “And I don’t want to let you down.” He looked uncomfortable now, his eyes sliding away from hers.
    “But you’re not ready for anything more than this?” she blurted. “Sleeping over at each other’s places? Family get-togethers now and then when we’re feeling especially masochistic?”
    He was silent, his eyes troubled. When he did speak, his voice was measured, thoughtful. “I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. But you’re right about its being more complicated than just the two of us. Let’s take it one step at a time.”
    Jack yearned to offer her more ... so much more. Would he have, could he have, if only she was closer to his age? If their children—Chris and Hannah—weren’t so violently opposed to their union?
    Minutes before, waiting downstairs with Hannah while Ben brought his car around. Jack had caught a glimpse, possibly for the first time—or maybe it was just the first time he’d allowed himself to see it—into the dark heart of his daughter’s unhappiness. Yes, she was impossible at times. Yes, she’d been hard on Grace. But underneath her rudeness was a little girl who felt so lonely and abandoned she couldn’t help striking out at the person she saw as the cause of it all.
    He closed his eyes for a moment, seeing the scene downstairs with Hannah, as if it were a home video of her that he’d rewound.
    “You don’t have to, Daddy. Really, I’m okay.” She shifted her weight subtly but oh so meaningfully, drawing away from him and his clumsy attempt to console her.
    She wouldn’t cry, he knew that — she was stubborn, like him. But if ever misery wore a face, it was Hannah’s at that moment. He longed for the old days, when he could scoop her up and hold her against his chest, safe from harm. Now she was a tall reed facing into the wind, close to breaking.
    “Feel better” he called to her as she stepped off the curb, moving in the direction of Ben’s car.
    She just looked at him ... a long over-the-shoulder glance that cut to his heart’s quick. A look that told him that feeling better wasn’t an option for her right now. And he knew that Grace was inevitably tangled in all this. Because his life was not an egg to be easily separated, yolk from white. He’d have to tread carefully now rather than take yet another drastic step. ...
    “Oh, Jack, I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.” Grace sighed. “The waiting, the wondering. I’m too old to be chasing after some fantasy.”
    “Me, too.” Jack lifted her chin with his fingers to meet his steadfast gaze.