Blind Impulse by Kathryn Loch Read Free Book Online Page A

her what happened?  He could not separate reality from hallucination.  During his fever he h ad thought Alyna came to him, sitting at his side and comforting him.  But she had probably left to escape the fever just as Naworth had done.  The betrothal would be broken and she would be engaged to another, while Garin slunk off to the church to hide h is shame.
    He closed his eyes trying to control the anger and frustration within him.  That would only serve to give him a pounding headache.  When he was fevered his head and neck hurt so much he could scarcely bear to have his head on the pillow.  Each st rand of hair on his scalp ached.  He had no idea a person could endure such pain and live.
    But now his true pain was imagining Alyna in the arms of another man, warming his bed, and bearing his children.  She should be Garin’s, no one else should touch her or love her.  During his time in the Holy Land, the memory of Alyna’s laughter had warmed him at night.  Her letters became his secret treasures and his imagination a door to escape the awful carnage around him. 
    He was a knight and fighting was his duty .  But that knowledge did not comfort him when he watched his friends die on an enemy blade or their lives ebb away with infection.  Yet he knew he could endure it as long as Alyna awaited him.  Her sweetness was such a counter to the horrors he witnessed daily.  He had fought and survived for her. 
    Why, God?  Why have you cursed me so?  I have served you well, fighting for your church, fighting for my king.  Why would you give me so much only to steal it all away?
    Garin tried to push the thoughts away but couldn’t.  His heart raged against God and what he could never have.  His hands clenched into fists.  Alyna, where are you?  Have they told you yet?  Have they broken your heart too?

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Three
     
     
    “ Good morning, Alyna,” the baroness said as Alyna entered her private chambers.  Eleanor sat on a chair, wearing a gown of gold silk, holding a mirror while a maid styled her hair.  “Are you feeling better this morning?”
    “ Yes, your excellency,” Alyna replied and bobbed a quick c urtsey.
    “ Ah, child, sit and make yourself comfortable.  I dislike so much formality.  In fact, call me Eleanor in private.”
    “ Thank you...Eleanor.  I must apologize for my outburst yesterday.”
    “ Worry not.  You did very well with Garin and I thank you.  It w ill be difficult for him when he realizes the betrothal must be broken.”  She hesitated, her expressive green eyes sad.  “I know my son.  When he returned home, I realized immediately he eagerly anticipated this marriage.”
    Alyna blushed.  “That is which I wish to speak with you about.”  She took a deep breath and rushed on before she lost her nerve.  “I don’t want to break the betrothal.”
    Eleanor slowly lowered the mirror, staring at her astounded.  Even the maid stopped her work.  Alyna twisted the rings o n her fingers nervously.
    “ Are you serious?”
    “ I am, Eleanor.  I know this is strange but you have seen my uncle, you know blindness can be defeated.  I can teach Garin what Roger learned.”
    “ But Garin is not an artisan.”
    “ Nay.  I do not mean that.  Other thi ngs.  He can still live a full life and he can still be baron.”
    “ You are certain you still want to marry him?”
    Alyna nodded, biting her lip, she did not dare trust her voice.
    Eleanor’s eyes narrowed.  “Glory, I don’t believe it, you are in love with him, a ren’t you?”
    Alyna blushed furiously.  “I wouldn’t be so presumptuous as to speak of love, lady.  I do care a great deal for him.”
    “ But you barely know him.”
    “ I know him better than you think.  While he was away...in the Holy Land...he wrote to me.”
    Eleanor dropped the mirror, fortunately it was polished metal rather than glass.  It clattered sharply on the floor.  “He what?”
    Alyna pulled