Broken by Tanille Edwards Read Free Book Online Page B

first.”
    â€œLike on text,” he said.
    â€œLike I want to see them in your handwriting so I can understand you.”
    He pressed a sun roof button. “Sometimes I like to be real quiet and look at the stars. I don’t see much of them at our new apartment. Out here, they are everywhere,” he smiled.
    There was a period where nothing was said. Did he think I was weird for not wanting to hear his music? Had I insulted him?
    â€œDid you think what I said about the music was weird?” I asked.
    â€œNo. You want to know. So I have to show you how I am. I want to write you a song. That is not easy for me. Sometimes it comes quickly. Sometimes the same song is in my head for weeks. I cowrite with my brother too. He’s real smart and creative. Just real, you know,” he replied.
    â€œIt’s like the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper. You and your brother, huh?” I asked.
    â€œSome kind of way, yes. I think I am more like my father than he is.”
    â€œI’m nothing like my father. The reason I like the Big Dipper and Little Dipper is because those are the first star constellations my mom showed me. I think I am like her. I hope. She died a few years ago,” I told him.
    â€œI’m sorry to hear this Milan.” He kissed my hand. “You are very brave.”
    â€œNo. I don’t think I am brave at all,” I said.
    â€œIf my mom died, I would not leave the house. You look so happy.”
    â€œIt is you and the stars,” I said.
    â€œHave you ever seen a shooting star?” he asked.
    â€œYeah. I thought I saw one once.” I wondered if maybe this was where I was supposed to be. Sometimes it seemed like I was going against the tide, fighting so hard to wish for Noel. If he felt just 10 percent of what I did, wouldn’t he have come home? I turned to Merek and kissed him on the cheek.
    I wished my life had a CliffsNotes version, like “Here’s what this part means” and “Here’s what she’s going to do in this part.” A glossary of how to handle numerous situations would help too. Merek was here. Noel hadn’t come home yet. I was barely keeping my head above water.

Chapter 5 The Club
    In a world of alarms, I had my own version. The layman’s version—my phone alarm on vibrate underneath my pillow. I’d gotten so used to it that I automatically turned it off when it vibrated.
    This morning was wrong for such a thing. My eyes fluttered in the sun’s rays peeking through my partially drawn curtains. My mind was still cloudy. Noel, I held him in my mind as tightly as I clung to my mom the first day of preschool. I was beginning to think I was holding on too tight. Then the flutter in my heart chimed in. I was so unmistakably loyal to the moments of him and me.
    The first day we knew was always dancing on the outskirts of my mind. I was 14. He was 15. We were play-fighting in my room on the floor after an intense game of Monopoly. He kept collecting my properties. Next thing I knew, I was in bankruptcy. “You get mean when you play,” I signed.
    â€œI do not, Milan,” he signed.
    â€œWell, you could give me a break,” I signed.
    â€œI will next time. I promise. I could never hurt you,” he signed.
    â€œWhatever. You just beat me for like the third time this week,” I signed.
    â€œEveryone is good at some things. We just have to find a game you’re good at,” he signed. He was so cute. He had almond-shaped eyes, long lashes, a nice nose, a low-cut Caesar. He had dimples that only appeared when he pressed his lips. He was wearing a tattered gray college T-shirt that was his father’s. It was the only thing he had of his father’s. Noel’s father left him and his mother when he was just three. He wasn’t bitter about it. He wasn’t upset about it.
    My hair was tied back in my still-favorite side ponytail. My pink velour sweatsuit was actually in