Burning Man by Alan Russell Read Free Book Online Page A

not going to be used as a glorified PR tool. I did the dog act. I won’t do the dog-and-pony act.”
    The chief gestured with his hands for me to calm down. “I’m not talking about putting you onstage. Yes, your name would be associated with this office, and you might be required to serve on some committees and do some public outreach, but what I have in mind isn’t some PR flak position, because frankly I don’t think you’re qualified for that.”
    “You got that one right.”
    “There’s no name for the position I’d like to offer you, but what I need is much the equivalent of a devil’s advocate.”
    I looked to see if the chief was smiling. He wasn’t. I spoke to my doubts, and maybe my vision: “Are vestments optional?”
    “In the Catholic church the official title of the devil’s advocate was Promoter of the Faith. It was the job of the advocatus diaboli to present any and all facts unfavorable to the candidate proposed for beatification or canonization.”
    “I don’t know how to break this to you, Chief, but I don’t think you have to worry about anyone in the LAPD being nominated for sainthood.”
    “I think I’m aware of that, Officer Gideon,” Ehrlich said. “What I’m trying to tell you is that every organization needs its professional skeptic.”
    I remembered my moment after, and how I’d had to confront my own festering wounds. I had even attributed a name to how I was feeling, a name I used again. “You’re looking for a Doubting Thomas?”
    “I am looking for a point man that can both think and work outside the box. Los Angeles is like no other police department in the world. Our citizenry call this place La La Land, and Hollyweird. We have a unique caseload, and periodically our department is forced to confront situations that are anything but run-of-the-mill. I am looking for someone who can deal with the unusual, the peculiar, the curious, and perhaps even the enigmatic.”
    “So you’re talking about me working Elvis sightings and crop circles?”
    “I doubt those would even raise eyebrows in Los Angeles. What I was broaching was the possibility of you working special cases.”
    “Where I would be your devil’s advocate?”
    “That position no longer exists in the Catholic church,” he said. “I believe the church erred when they discontinued that post. Saints need exacting scrutiny.”
    “Sinners need it even more.”
    “Does such a position interest you?”
    “What would I tell people? That I work in the Defense against the Dark Arts Division?”
    “I have another name in mind: Special Cases Unit.”
    “And would you be the one deciding what a special case is and what’s not?”
    “That would be my prerogative, but I’d also expect you to be keeping an ear to the ground and working up cases on your own. With your injuries you could have retired on disability. It’s clear that you’re here because you want to be.”
    “There are some cases that fall between the cracks,” I said. “They’re low-priority and they shouldn’t be.”
    “You would have carte blanche to work such cases, as long as they didn’t interfere with your special cases.”
    “What’s your definition of a special case?”
    “Justice Potter Stewart said he couldn’t necessarily define pornography, but said, ‘I know it when I see it.’ We’ll know it when we see it.”
    “Would I be reporting to you?”
    “You would.”
    “I am not the person you’re looking for if what you want is a departmental snitch or a personal lapdog.”
    “Those are not positions I had in mind for you.”
    “You already have an Internal Affairs Division. I am not going to be playing your devil’s advocate to other cops, am I?”
    He shook his head and said, “Only if the case is deemed special.”
    “When do you want my decision?”
    “How long do you need?”
    “By week’s end.”
    “That works for me.”
    I stood up and we shook hands. Sirius bounced up, but we weren’t able to make our